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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Just shared via Messenger:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Just shared via YouTube:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Trending via X:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Just shared via TikTok:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Just shared via Telegram:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Live now on Reddit:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Just landed via Reddit:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Just shared via X:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Funny missionary quotes

Funny missionary quotes bring a smile 😄 to the heart of adventure and faith journeys! Whether navigating cultural surprises 🌍 or sharing laughs during unexpected moments, these witty sayings add a spark 🔥 to the mission experience. Ready to lighten the mood and celebrate the joy of spreading hope with a chuckle? Dive in and discover humor that’s as inspiring as it is hilarious! 😂✨

New funny missionary quotes 👇

All funny missionary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Twitch this month:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

36 shares on Slack this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

84 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

40 shares on X this month:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Just landed via Threads:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Seen just now on Instagram:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Making waves on Discord:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Just shared via Threads:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Spotted on Instagram:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

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