Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has viewed:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has copied:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has downloaded:

When I tell you β€œI’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piΓ±ata.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Slack:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Spotted on Threads:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Spotted on Discord:

Next time someone says β€œI’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say β€œI’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Just shared via Reddit:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Funny missionary quotes

Funny missionary quotes bring a smile πŸ˜„ to the heart of adventure and faith journeys! Whether navigating cultural surprises 🌍 or sharing laughs during unexpected moments, these witty sayings add a spark πŸ”₯ to the mission experience. Ready to lighten the mood and celebrate the joy of spreading hope with a chuckle? Dive in and discover humor that’s as inspiring as it is hilarious! πŸ˜‚βœ¨

New funny missionary quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny missionary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on X this month:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

79 shares on Reddit this month:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Girls be like β€œforget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The feminine urge to say β€œouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has copied:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has shared:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has downloaded:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has viewed:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has shared:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, β€œYou just get in today too?” and I said, β€œWell, no,” then stood in silence.

Going viral on WeChat:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Going viral on X:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Making waves on Discord:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Going viral on Twitch:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Spotted on Discord:

β€œQuit” is not in my vocabulary but β€œresign”, β€œdrop out”, and β€œgive up” are.

Just landed via Reddit:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Just landed via Discord:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄