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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

37 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Going viral on X:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Live now on X:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Seen just now on Telegram:

About to form my very first opinion.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Going viral on WeChat:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Just shared via Slack:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Just shared via WeChat:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Home » Funny Modern Dating Quotes

Funny modern dating quotes

New funny modern dating quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Commentary:
Ah, modern dating – where we play a game of 'spot the red flag' and hope for the best 🚩🤔 It's like choosing between a bouquet of red flags, hoping for a rose amongst the thorns! 🌹😂 Remember, sometimes the red flags are just waving at you, not warning you! 🚩🚩🚩 #DatingDilemmas

For even more funny modern dating quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny modern dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

37 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Reported on Instagram:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Going viral on X:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Reported on Reddit:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Breaking via Messenger:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Spotted on Messenger:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

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