Funny newspaper quotes

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  2 days ago

  Share →: I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

  Commentary:
  So you're at the age where knowing tomorrow's weather is more exciting than tomorrow's party forecast? 🌦️📰😂

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like Twitter's new slogan should be "Bark less, read more!" 📰🐶

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's in a news-worthy predicament! 📰💩 Times may be tough, but at least you're catching up on the headlines while you… take care of business. 😆 Hang in there, things will smooth out eventually!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

  Commentary:
  "Having Twitter is like reading the newspaper, but instead of news, it's a chaotic bonfire of opinions where the writers are just waiting to roast you 🔥📰😅 #TwitterverseDrama"

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