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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Trending via Facebook:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Reported on Facebook:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Spotted on Threads:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Trending via Discord:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Just landed via Telegram:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Live now on WeChat:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Just landed via Slack:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

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