5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald's ice-cream machine because I'm not working.

Commentary:
“5pm on a Friday mood: ‘Call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working… just like the machine! 🍦😂 Who else is ready for some chill time?”

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

    Commentary:
    Oh mirror, mirror on the wall, why you gotta make me feel so small? 💔 Maybe the mirror needs some glasses to see how truly fabulous you are! 💁‍♀️ Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder… and sometimes that beholder needs a reality check! 😂 Mirror, mirror, go easy on my ego next time! 🪞 #MirrorMirrorOnTheWall #BodyShamingDrama

  • When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the ever-elusive surprise in the avocado – nature’s original mystery box! 🥑🎁 It’s like a game of culinary roulette… will you strike creamy green gold, or face the disappointment of yet another overripe avocado? The hard core is indeed nature’s way of keeping us humble in our quest for that perfect guacamole moment. Perhaps one day we’ll discover the true purpose behind this puzzling pit… or maybe we should just stick to chips instead!

  • Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like Europeans have cracked the code to beating boredom – read, baby, read! 📚📖 Who needs suspenseful TV dramas when you have the entire literary world at your fingertips? Keep turning those pages, Europe!”

  • Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

    Commentary:
    “Life motto: Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling… because let’s be real, we’re all a work in progress 🔄😂 #ProcrastinationNation”

  • Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

    Commentary:
    “Considering a demotion from being an adult; my current mental state is more suited for the role of Chief Napper 😴. Grateful for the chance to adult, but these responsibilities need a timeout. 🚫🧠 #AdultingCanWait”

  • When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the ultimate breaking point – the dreaded TV email address entry! 📺🤯 Who knew such a simple task could lead to utter madness and rage? It’s the modern-day equivalent of losing your keys in a black hole! 🔑🕳️ Let’s hope you keep your cool until the next episode of ‘Typing Wars: Email Address Edition’!”