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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Just shared via Slack:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Trending via TikTok:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Spotted on Discord:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Live now on TikTok:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

11 Funny nutrition quotes

Funny nutrition quotes are the perfect recipe 🍎 for laughs and healthy vibes! Whether you’re a salad lover 🥗 or a pizza fan 🍕, these witty nuggets will spice up your wellness journey with humor and a dash of truth. Get ready to smile 😄 while learning why eating well doesn’t have to be boring. Let’s dig into some tasty chuckles that make nutrition downright delicious! 🍉🍇

New funny nutrition quotes 👇

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

0

2 months ago

deficiency, fast, health, health humor, humor, iron, iron deficiency, joke, nutrition, pun, stand, too, wellness
Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

0

2 months ago

eat, food, food industry, found, ground, health, humor, industry, just, nutrition, organic, processed, processed food, sarcasm, satire, somewhere
I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, banana, confusion, humor, i, idea, nutrition, sun, sure, vitamin
Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

0

2 months ago

addictive, broccoli, comparison, craving, food, health, humor, just, me, need, nutrition, sugar
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

0

2 months ago

carrot, diet, eat, food, humor, hungry, nutrition, stay, thing, want
Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

0

2 months ago

carbohydrate, clever, course, drink, humor, hydrated, i, nutrition, pun, stay, wordplay
When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

0

2 months ago

calcium, dinner, food, food humor, humor, ice cream, meal, meal planning, nutrition, planning, protein, remember
Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

0

2 months ago

eating, food, humor, i, labels, nutrition, section, thing, whole, whole thing
Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

0

2 months ago

anemia, deficiency, health, humor, iron, iron deficiency, joke, levels, new, nutrition
Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

0

4 months ago

food, humor, nutrition, protein, question, science, things, think, wants

For even more funny nutrition quotes, hit next 👇

All funny nutrition quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

95 shares on X this month:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,709

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Making waves on TikTok:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Going viral on Twitch:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Trending via Messenger:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Trending via Facebook:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

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