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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Trending via WeChat:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Just landed via Facebook:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Breaking via Slack:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Spotted on Discord:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Trending via YouTube:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Funny octopus quotes

Funny octopus quotes 🐙 are the perfect way to add a splash of ocean humor 🌊 to your day! These clever cephalopod sayings tickle your funny bone with their eight-armed wit and ink-spiring charm 🖋️. Whether you’re a sea lover or just need a quirky smile, dive into the world of playful octopus vibes and let the laughter flow like the tides! 😂🐚

New funny octopus quotes 👇

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

0

2 months ago

emotional, emotional support, humor, i, octopus, people, pet, shoplift, slap, support, train, training, want
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

0

2 months ago

creativity, humor, i, multitasking, octopus, people, slap, wish
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

0

2 months ago

face, friends, humor, loyalty, metaphor, ocean, octopus, relationships, stay, true, waf

All funny octopus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

93 shares on TikTok this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Just landed via Instagram:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Just landed via X:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Just landed via X:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Spotted on X:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Just shared via Telegram:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Spotted on Slack:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Going viral on WeChat:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Just shared via Instagram:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

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