Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

44 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Seen just now on Discord:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Just landed via Twitch:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Breaking via Twitch:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Seen just now on Threads:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Breaking via YouTube:

How is it still this week?

Just shared via Twitch:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Spotted on Discord:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Home » Funny Octopus Quotes

Funny octopus quotes

New funny octopus quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Commentary:
"Imagine the chaos and surprise an emotional support octopus could bring – slapping away negativity and snagging some steals like a true partner in crime 🐙💥🛍️ Who needs therapy when you've got a mollusk sidekick for all your outlandish shenanigans?"
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of multitasking in style – Octopus goals! 🐙💥 Just imagine the chaos of eight simultaneous slaps! Just make sure those eight people aren't armed with octopus repellent 😉🦑"
6 months ago
Share →: Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Commentary:
"Friends ebb and flow like ocean waves 🌊, but the real ones stick around like an octopus with separation anxiety 🐙! Just when you think they're gone, they cling to you for dear life! 😂 #FriendshipGoals"

For even more funny octopus quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny octopus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

44 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Just shared via X:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Breaking via X:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Just landed via Discord:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Trending via Instagram:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Broadcasted on Instagram:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Shared recently on Threads:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Just shared via Telegram:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴