Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,620

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Breaking via Telegram:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Going viral on Discord:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Spotted on YouTube:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Making waves on Telegram:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Funny parallel universe quotes

Funny parallel universe quotes 🚀👽 take you on a hilarious trip to a world where everything’s just a little bit sideways! Imagine a place where cats rule the internet, coffee brews itself, and Mondays don’t exist ☕️😹. These witty lines twist reality in the funniest ways, making you laugh while pondering what life might be like on the flip side 🌌✨. Ready to chuckle through the multiverse? Let’s dive in!

New funny parallel universe quotes 👇

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

0

2 months ago

alternate, alternate dimension, curiosity, dimension, humor, i, parallel, parallel universe, self, universe, wonder
In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

0

2 months ago

alternate, alternate reality, happiness, happy, humor, imagination, me, parallel, parallel universe, reality, self, universe
If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

0

2 months ago

doing, exist, hope, humor, i, me, other me, parallel, parallel universe, self-reflection, universe, well, well-being
In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, carey, celebrity, doing, every, hearing, humor, mariah, Mariah Carey, me, music, parallel, parallel universe, shopping, sick, speaker, speaker system, stores, system, universe
I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

0

2 months ago

driving, humor, i, living, parallel, parallel universe, parking, self-deprecation, struggles, suck, universe, where
In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, early, fresh, humor, i, morning, motivation, parallel, parallel universe, sleep, universe, unstoppable, wake, wake up
My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

0

5 months ago

3, everything, hours, i, later, missed, missing, missing out, nap, parallel, parallel universe, sleep, thinking, time, time warp, toxic, toxic trait, trait, universe, waking, waking up, warp, where
Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

0

6 months ago

day, energetic, feeling, humor, i, maybe, morning, parallel, parallel universe, refreshed, somewhere, thinking, tiredness, universe, wake, wake up, wishful, wishful thinking

All funny parallel universe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

15 shares on Threads this month:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

34 shares on Discord this month:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

77 shares on Threads this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Making waves on Twitch:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Just shared via Messenger:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Going viral on YouTube:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Making waves on X:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Making waves on Discord:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Making waves on Discord:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴