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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Just shared via Discord:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Just landed via Slack:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Spotted on TikTok:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Trending via Telegram:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Trending via Threads:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Funny parenting humor quotes

Funny parenting humor quotes bring a much-needed dose of laughter to the wild ride of raising tiny humans! 😂 From sleepless nights to endless messes, these witty gems capture the chaos and joy of parenthood perfectly. Whether you’re surviving toddler tantrums or teenage eye rolls, a good chuckle goes a long way. Ready to giggle, relate, and share the hilarious reality of being a parent? Let’s dive in and laugh together! 🎉👶🎈

New funny parenting humor quotes 👇

All funny parenting humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Telegram this month:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

43 shares on X this month:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

74 shares on Discord this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

99 shares on X this month:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Seen just now on Threads:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Seen just now on WeChat:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Trending via Twitch:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Spotted on Reddit:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Spotted on Twitch:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Going viral on Messenger:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

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