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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1883 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,045

Funny Quotes Topics

14,832

Funny Quotes Images

12,045

3 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Reported on Facebook:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Just shared via Reddit:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Spotted on Discord:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Making waves on Pinterest:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Reported on TikTok:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Breaking via Slack:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Home » Funny Property Quotes

Funny property quotes

Funny property quotes bring a smile to every homeowner and real estate lover alike 🏡😂 Whether you’re buying, selling, or just dreaming of your perfect space, these witty lines add a splash of humor to the sometimes stressful world of property 🏠✨ Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share with your fellow home enthusiasts! 😄📢

New funny property quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Commentary:
When your dating profile goes from "single and ready to mingle" to "prepped and ready for the apocalypse" 🏗️🏡😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Commentary:
"Dream big or go home… oh wait, I can't afford that either! 😅🏠💸 #KitchenCriticWithEmptyPockets"
2 months ago
Share →: If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Commentary:
"Who knew 'paranormal activity included' was a selling point? Time to ask for that ghostly rebate! 👻🏚️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Commentary:
"Looks like hell is the next hot real estate market 🔥🏠 Better start scouting for that perfect lakeside condo 😉 Who knew eternal damnation could be so lucrative? 💰 #HellboundInvestments"
6 months ago
Share →: Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Commentary:
"Remember, sharing is caring…unless we're talking about my illegal substances! Those are strictly for personal enjoyment only. 🙅‍♂️🚫 #FindersKeepersLosersWeepers"

For even more funny property quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny property quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1883 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,045

Funny Quotes Topics

14,832

Funny Quotes Images

12,045

3 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Just shared via Reddit:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Shared recently on Reddit:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Making waves on Discord:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

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