Funny self-check quotes

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.