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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.
  • I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
  • Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.
  • You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.
  • I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.
  • Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.