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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Just shared via Discord:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Just landed via Facebook:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Funny self-indulgence quotes

Funny self-indulgence quotes are the perfect way to laugh at our little quirks and unapologetic moments of treating ourselves 🎉🍰 Whether it’s sneaking that extra slice of cake or binge-watching your favorite show guilt-free, these witty lines celebrate the art of being delightfully selfish 😜💅 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even justify your next indulgence with a cheeky grin! 😂✨

New funny self-indulgence quotes 👇

All funny self-indulgence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

53 shares on Slack this month:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

29 shares on X this month:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,543

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Going viral on Slack:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Seen just now on X:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Just shared via Telegram:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Breaking via Facebook:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

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