I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.