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42 Funny space quotes

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

3 months ago

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

3 months ago

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

3 months ago

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

3 months ago

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

3 months ago

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

3 months ago

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

3 months ago

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

3 months ago

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

3 months ago

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

3 months ago

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

3 months ago

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

3 months ago

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

3 months ago

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

3 months ago

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

3 months ago

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

3 months ago

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

3 months ago

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

3 months ago

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

3 months ago

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

3 months ago