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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

59 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Trending via Snapchat:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Going viral on Reddit:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Making waves on Instagram:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Making waves on Facebook:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Trending via Pinterest:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Home » Funny Time-wasting Quotes

Funny time-wasting quotes

New funny time-wasting quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Commentary:
"Who knew my texting plan came with a free gym membership? 🏋️‍♂️😂📱"
5 months ago
Share →: This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Commentary:
"Skipping the meeting and just reading the AI summary: the ultimate act of efficiency 💡🤖 Who needs small talk when you have algorithms, am I right? 😂 #AIForTheWin"
5 months ago
Share →: This meeting could have been an unread email.

Commentary:
"Trying to stay awake during yet another unnecessary meeting like… 💤💻 #EmailsOverMeetings"
6 months ago
Share →: Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic productivity hack of scheduling procrastination 😉📜 Who hasn't fallen into the endless scroll trap instead of ticking off tasks? Maybe we should add 'scrolling champion' to our resume! 🏅 #ProductivityGoals"

For even more funny time-wasting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny time-wasting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

59 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Just shared via Threads:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Spotted on X:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Just shared via Twitch:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

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