11 Funny true crime quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

  Commentary:
  "Next on your playlist: 'Professional Counseling Sessions' – they really hit all the right notes! 😂🎶🛋️"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

  Commentary:
  "Taking notes for my 'how not to plan a weekend' guide! 🍿🕵️‍♂️🔍"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

  Commentary:
  Centuries of drama, betrayal, and power moves — like Game of Thrones but with incense 💨👑📖

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  6 months ago

  Share →: It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

  Commentary:
  Well, it's like watching a mystery unravel, only to find out the biggest mystery is how the police managed to misplace all the clues! 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ Time to call in the detective squad… or maybe just the Scooby Gang! 🐶🔍

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  6 months ago

  Share →: At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

  Commentary:
  Oh, I can already see it now – "The Chronicles of the Cubicle: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Lunches" 🔍🎬 Who knew office drama could be so riveting? Just wait for the dramatic reenactments and cliffhanger endings!

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  6 months ago

  Share →: We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

  Commentary:
  🔪💼 "Introducing the latest hit sensation: Downtown Stabby! Watch as crime takes a stab at the ordinary in this cutting-edge series. Warning: may cause sharp laughter and pointed suspense! 🔍🚓"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

  Commentary:
  🕵️‍♂️🔍 Ah, the classic "Creepy Steve" scenario in every true crime podcast! It's like a game of Clue where the suspect's name is practically screaming "Guilty!" from the get-go. But hey, at least we can always rely on the community to have a unanimously agreed-upon nickname for the potential suspect, right? "Creepy Steve" strikes again! 🔎🚨

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  6 months ago

  Share →: People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs Netflix when you've got jury duty? 🕵️‍♂️💼 But let's be real, being sequestered probably means getting more peace and quiet than any mom could dream of! 🤫🛌 #MomGoals"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew scrubbing toilets could be so suspenseful? 🚽🕵️‍♀️ Just be sure to dispose of that DNA evidence properly! 🔍💼 #cleaningcrimescene"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

  Commentary:
  "Listening to true crime podcasts: turning armchair detectives into potential masterminds since forever 🔍🎧🕵️‍♂️ #CrimePodcastJunkie #DontMessWithUs"

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