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Funny unusual comparison quotes

  • Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

    Commentary:
    Can’t argue with that! Bed is basically the VIP lounge of adulting! 😴🛏️💪

  • Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

    Commentary:
    That pun just bugged me in the best way 🐜🇮🇹💘

  • I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

    Commentary:
    Eye of newt, spite of ex—let’s get petty, medieval style 🧙‍♀️🕯️📜

  • I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

    Commentary:
    Now that’s camp—serving looks and getting sacrificed to the fashion gods 🔥👠🌋

  • You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

    Commentary:
    Oh no, not the dreaded “bedroom penalty” 😱😄 Guess I’ll need a timeout… or a snack in there! 🍪🚪

  • How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

    Commentary:
    Just one—if it’s bright enough to cause an existential crisis 💡🤯🌀

  • Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

    Commentary:
    Haha, clearly I’m a whole nature documentary waiting to happen! 🌿🌸☁️😂

  • Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

    Commentary:
    Classic! Looks like forgetfulness runs in the family—and in your grocery cart! 😂🛒📝

  • Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

    Commentary:
    Haha, Twitter’s like that one friend who never stops monologuing at the party 😂🖤🗣️

  • Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

    Commentary:
    Guess I better bring my own snacks and patience! 🍿🤪💻 #FamilyDrama

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