Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Breaking via Messenger:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Making waves on Twitch:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Trending via TikTok:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Going viral on Reddit:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Live now on Snapchat:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Just landed via Facebook:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Funny vain quotes

Funny vain quotes bring a cheeky smile to anyone who loves a little self-love mixed with humor 😎✨ Whether you’re embracing your inner diva or just poking fun at your reflection, these witty lines add sparkle to vanity with a lighthearted twist 💁‍♀️🤣 Get ready to laugh at yourself and celebrate confidence like never before! 🎉🪞 #SelfLove #TooGlamToGiveADamn

New funny vain quotes 👇

All funny vain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Threads this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

81 shares on X this month:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you a software update, because not now!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Live now on Slack:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Trending via Telegram:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Seen just now on Slack:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Breaking via Messenger:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Trending via Threads:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

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