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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Broadcasted on X:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

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Funny word invention quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Going viral on Discord:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Going viral on Instagram:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Just landed via Twitch:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Reported on Reddit:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Trending via YouTube:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

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