Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Shared recently on Slack:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Seen just now on Threads:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Live now on Snapchat:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Spotted on Telegram:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Making waves on X:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Going viral on Reddit:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Going bananas on Telegram:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs unsolicited sandwich pics when you can have unsolicited puns instead? 🥪😂 Maybe they thought it was a 'sub'lime idea! 😉"

food, humor, media, photography, pics, sandwich, social, social media, unsolicited

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

2 months ago

attitude, cooking, food, gnocchi, humor, i, language, people, pronounce, seriously, take
I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

2 months ago

bad, bad day, card, cards, cheer, cheer up, credit, credit card, cute, cute pics, day, having, humor, joke, light-hearted, me, pics, send
My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

8 hours ago

asked, family, humor, i, laughter, me, memory, mom, screenshot, shoe, take, taught, teaching, technology, tie
Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

2 months ago

anything, doing, hate, humor, lose, losing, motivation, procrastination, things
Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

2 months ago

backyard, body, cops, crime, dark, dark humor, deception, digging, ever, guy, humor, police, reputation, sarcasm
All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

2 months ago

back, balcony, communication, country, decisions, fact, humor, i, people, speak, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Just shared via Twitch:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Going viral on Threads:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Just landed via Discord:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Going viral on Instagram:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Breaking via Discord:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨