Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,802

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Seen just now on Threads:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Just landed via WeChat:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Seen just now on X:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Making waves on Twitch:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Just shared via Slack:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Live now on Instagram:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Going bananas on X:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs unsolicited sandwich pics when you can have unsolicited puns instead? 🥪😂 Maybe they thought it was a 'sub'lime idea! 😉"

food, humor, media, photography, pics, sandwich, social, social media, unsolicited

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

January is the Monday of the year.

0

1 month ago

comparison, humor, January, Monday, new, new year, seasons, time, winter, year
“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

0

1 month ago

autism, exist, guy, guys, hardware, hardware store, humor, met, misunderstanding, old, old guy, perception, store, stores, work
All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

0

1 month ago

decision, decisions, humor, i, overthinking, self-deprecating, still, worst, worst decision
Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

0

5 months ago

adulting, cheers, choice, club, club scene, couch, cozy, cozy couch, crowded, growing, growing up, means, moments, nightlife, over, relaxation, scene
It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

0

4 months ago

always, available, bill, customer, customer service, expense, finance, humor, month, monthly, monthly bill, never, payment, sarcasm, service, subscription, surprise, us
Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

0

1 month ago

being, Chainsmokers, closer, college, dropped, experience, least, music, nostalgia, party, say, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

25 shares on X this month:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Shared recently on Slack:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Trending via YouTube:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

January is the Monday of the year.

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨