50+ Funny Animal Quotes That Prove Our Furry Friends Are Natural Comedians

New funny animal quotes

• It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

• I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

• Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

• The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

• Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

• Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

• Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

• Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

• Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

• Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Top funny animal quotes

• Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

• A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

• Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

• When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

• I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

• When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

• I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

• I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

• Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

• Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Popular funny animal quotes

• Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

• Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

• I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

• Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

• I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

• I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

• Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

• I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

• The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

• When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

More funny animal quotes

• Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

• If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

• The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

• The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

• Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

• Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

• The lion can’t keep living like this.

• Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

• Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

• The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Witty animal quotes

• It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

• If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

• It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

• My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

• Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

• Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

• Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

• You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

• If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

• Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Funny animal quotes remind us that animals don’t even have to try to be funny — they just are 😂. Whether it’s pets making weird faces 🐕, birds being tiny drama queens 🐦, or wildlife surprising us with their antics 🦊, animals deliver non-stop comedy 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who can’t get enough of the ridiculous cuteness animals bring to everyday life 🙃. So embrace the fur, feathers, and funny business, and enjoy the never-ending comedy show that is the animal kingdom 🤪!