Funny animal quotes capture the adorable chaos, weird habits, and accidental comedy that animals bring into our lives πΆπ±. From pets doing dramatic zoomies π€ͺ to wildlife acting like they run the place πΏοΈ, animals constantly give us reasons to laugh π. These quotes highlight the silly, unpredictable, and downright hilarious moments that make animals the ultimate entertainers. Get ready to smile at all the goofy things animals do β and how much joy they bring π!
New funny animal quotes
- Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.
- I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story thatβs like, βYeah, he just moved in.β
- Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.
- Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what Iβm capable of.
- Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.
- Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses donβt stop.
- When animals lead you to a place, itβs so cuteβ¦ like, yes, Iβm still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.
- Iβve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.
- The lion does not concern himself with social proof.
- Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.
Top funny animal quotes
- I wanna be a jellyfishβ no heart, no brain, no feelings, no painβ just blub blub blub.
- I donβt want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.
- The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.
- Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.
- Itβs true that Iβve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.
- I be like, βAwwwww cows,β and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.
- Canβt believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.
- I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.
- Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese Iβm gonna take a big biteee.
- Itβs cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.
Popular funny animal quotes
- I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! Youβre so right.
- Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.
- The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.
- Death doesnβt scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while Iβm walking alone on the street does.
- Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. Heβs probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like heβs me.
- Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.
- Everyoneβs gangsta till youβre waiting on your dog to poop.
- Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?
- Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.
- Girls will be like, βThis is my comfort song,β and itβs the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.
More funny animal quotes
- A baby cow is called a calf because itβs half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.
- Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, βUgh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!β
- When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.
- I couldnβt work at a zoo. Iβd have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.
- When Iβm done eatingβ¦ I have to show my hands to my cat, like Iβm a blackjack dealer.
- I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.
- I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.
- Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.
- Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.
- Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal youβre trying to keep alive is you.
Witty animal quotes
- Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.
- I donβt want to adult anymore. Donβt even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.
- Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.
- I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.
- I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.
- Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.
- I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.
- The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.
- When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.
- Judging by the hair on my couch, Iβm surprised I have any cat left at all.
Funny animal quotes remind us that animals donβt even have to try to be funny β they just are π. Whether itβs pets making weird faces π, birds being tiny drama queens π¦, or wildlife surprising us with their antics π¦, animals deliver non-stop comedy π€£. These quotes are perfect for anyone who canβt get enough of the ridiculous cuteness animals bring to everyday life π. So embrace the fur, feathers, and funny business, and enjoy the never-ending comedy show that is the animal kingdom π€ͺ!