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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

43 minutes ago

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Spotted on Discord:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Just landed via Instagram:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Reported on YouTube:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Making waves on Discord:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Live now on Threads:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Just shared via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Live now on Threads:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Home » Funny Animal Quotes

133 Funny animal quotes

Funny animal quotes celebrate the delightful and often hilarious antics of our furry, feathered, and scaly friends! 🐾😂 From comical observations about their behaviors to witty remarks about their quirks, these quotes bring out the charm and humor in the animal kingdom. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the fun side of our animal companions! 😄🐶

New funny animal quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Commentary:
😂🐠 Seems like you've mastered the art of human attraction, but fish have you swimming up the creek without a paddle! 🏄‍♂️
2 days ago
Share →: I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Commentary:
When your cat's meow turns into a TED Talk 😸🎤✨
3 days ago
Share →: Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Commentary:
Meanwhile, I'm still wondering if I should have breakfast for dinner 🥞🤔 #FiguringLifeOut
3 days ago
Share →: The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Commentary:
Trading traffic lights for fairy lights sounds like a magical upgrade! 🐿️🧚‍♂️🍓
4 days ago
Share →: Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Commentary:
Paws before you scare! 😅🐶🚶‍♂️🛑
4 days ago
Share →: Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Commentary:
Sounds like the spider's planning a web fashion show with my wardrobe! 🕷️👗😂
4 days ago
Share →: Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Commentary:
Pugs: The original "flattened by a door but still fabulous" look! 🐶🚪😂
5 days ago
Share →: Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Commentary:
When your dog takes longer to poop than your favorite show takes for a new season… 🍿🐶⏳
5 days ago
Share →: Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Commentary:
Crow women: masters of shiny object collection and perfecting the art of dramatic caw-versation! 🪶😂
5 days ago
Share →: Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Commentary:
Still waiting, but at least I don't have to worry about becoming a dinosaur snack! 🦖🐐😅

For even more funny animal quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny animal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

43 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Instagram:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Live now on Discord:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Live now on LinkedIn:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Breaking via Reddit:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Seen just now on X:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

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