50+ Funny Behavior Quotes That Prove We’re All A Little Weird Sometimes

New funny behavior quotes

• Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

• Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

• Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

• Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

• On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

• May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

• If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

• My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

• The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

• My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Top funny behavior quotes

• Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

• The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

• Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

• Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

• Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

• If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

• Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

• Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

• We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

• That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Popular funny behavior quotes

• My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

• The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

• My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

• Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

• Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

• Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

• No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

• Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

• Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

• Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

More funny behavior quotes

• If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

• I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

• Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

• Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

• Calling the police when someone unfollows.

• Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

• My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

• Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

• The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

• I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Witty behavior quotes

• I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

• If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

• There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

• People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

• Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

• Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

• Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

• Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

• I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

• You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Funny behavior quotes remind us that while we like to think we’re normal 🧠, our behavior often tells a much funnier story 🤣. Whether it’s making weird faces when no one’s looking 🤪, obsessing over minor details 🔍, or reacting dramatically to the smallest inconvenience 🎭, our behavior constantly delivers comedy gold. These quotes are perfect for anyone who embraces their quirks and finds humor in everyday actions 🙃. So embrace your weirdness, laugh at your habits, and enjoy the endless comedy of human behavior 😂!