50+ Funny Cat Quotes That Prove Our Furry Overlords Run The Show

New funny cat quotes

• I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

• You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

• With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

• My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

• My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

• Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

• Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

• Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

• The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

• Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Top funny cat quotes

• When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

• I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

• I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

• If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

• There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

• Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

• If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

• “You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

• Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

• Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Popular funny cat quotes

• Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

• It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

• Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

• It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

• I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

• Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

• Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

• If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

• Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

• Meow means woof in cat.

More funny cat quotes

• Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

• Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

• All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

• Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

• Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

• I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

• My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

• Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

• It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

• Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Witty cat quotes

• Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

• Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

• Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

• That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

• Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

• My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

• You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

• If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

• Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

• Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Funny cat quotes remind us that while dogs have owners, cats have staff 😂. Whether it’s ignoring you until they need something 🙄, knocking random objects off tables 🖐️, or napping in the weirdest places 🛋️, cats constantly keep us entertained 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows they don’t own a cat — they simply serve one 🙃. So embrace the fur, laugh at the attitude, and enjoy the never-ending comedy show that is cat ownership 🤪!