50+ Funny Change Quotes That Prove We All Fear It, But Laugh Anyway

New funny change quotes

• 
  Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

  Commentary:
  When a grocery trip turns into hide and seek! 🛒🔍😅

• 
  I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

  Commentary:
  Wishing you sunny forecasts and sand-free cards! 🌞🔮🏖️

• 
  Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

  Commentary:
  Dreams: the only place where I'm a morning person and a billionaire! 😴💰👉🙅‍♂️

• 
  A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

  Commentary:
  Just when I thought I was the only one with a season pass to Crazyland, it turns out it's a full house! 🤪🎢

• 
  A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

  Commentary:
  Looks like finally something to spice up my calendar! 🤖🌌👾

• 
  It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

  Commentary:
  Switching from summer goth to autumn goth like a true seasonal fashionista! 🖤🍂👗

• 
  Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

  Commentary:
  When I go out, the only thing that turns into a pumpkin is my bank account! 🎃💸

• 
  At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

  Commentary:
  Navigating that new grocery layout was more traumatizing than trying to decide what to watch on Netflix! 🛒😂📺

• 
  You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

  Commentary:
  Enjoy the intro special because it’s going off the menu soon 😂🍿✨

• 
  Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

  Commentary:
  When the summer folks are down, my spirit does the Macarena! 🕺🌞🎉

Top funny change quotes

• 
  I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

  Commentary:
  One way to keep the romance sizzling: using the ladder more than the love song! 🔋😂🚨

• 
  “You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

  Commentary:
  When life gives you sequels, become a director of change! 🎬🍿😁

• 
  Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

  Commentary:
  My couch is now officially a theme park with a variety of sitting attractions 🎢🛋️🎟️ Chaos Level: expert.

• 
  Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

  Commentary:
  Starting over at 27? Why not! It's the new trend—like upgrading your phone but with life decisions 📱🔄😂

• 
  I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

  Commentary:
  This remote has more power than my morning coffee! ☕🔀📺

• 
  Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

  Commentary:
  Taking applications for minions, must be okay with diabolical plots and occasional evil laughter 😈👹😂

• 
  I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

  Commentary:
  Definitely a survival instinct honed over centuries! 😂🔍💃

• 
  I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

  Commentary:
  Looks like I'm the captain of the S.S. Optimism, sailing straight into the iceberg of reality! 🚢🤔🧊

• 
  Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the infamous mud season – nature's way of reminding us that we are no match for its power! 😂🌧️ Who knew a simple combination of water, dirt, and poor flooring choices could wreak such havoc on hearts, minds, and interior decor? Here's to hoping our carpets survive this muddy apocalypse! 🙏🏽🤣 #MudSeasonStruggles

• 
  I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew facial hair could be so persuasive? 😉🧔 Embrace the beard life, it might just tickle your fancy! #BeardGoals"

Popular funny change quotes

• 
  I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to change the world without the source code is like trying to cook without a recipe – disastrous! 🌎💻 #DeveloperDilemma"

• 
  I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

  Commentary:
  "Just like a crisp $1 bill, this person is single and confident – no change needed! 💵😄 Who needs a significant other when you've got independence and financial stability, am I right? 💁‍♂️ #SingleAndThriving"

• 
  Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

  Commentary:
  "Life lesson #101: Paying rent turns humor into horror 😂💸 Say goodbye to jokes and hello to bill collectors!"

• 
  Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Sex is like my hair – sparse and elusive! 🙈 Maybe it's playing hard to get? Or perhaps it's just practicing social distancing? Whatever the reason, at this rate, tomorrow's forecast calls for more Netflix and less… well, hair-raising adventures! 💁‍♂️🚫"

• 
  Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the Roomba has taken its vacuuming duties to a whole new level – upgrading to security detail while you were away! 🤖🔒 Guess the Roomba is all about keeping your home clean and secure. Just make sure it doesn't start demanding a paycheck next! 😂 #RoombaBossMode

• 
  I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'I love change, as long as everything stays exactly the same' approach. 🤣 Embracing change while seeking comfort in familiarity, a true masterpiece in contradicting oneself! 🔄🤷‍♂️"

• 
  I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

  Commentary:
  "From party animal to laundry aficionado 🌧️🧺 Who knew adulthood would hit harder than a hangover? 💃🏻 #LaundryOverLateNights"

• 
  Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, we are setting some legendary precedents for the history books! Future generations will be like 'Remember that time they precedented the heck out of everything?' 📚👀 Let's hope they appreciate our unprecedented dedication to being precedent-setters!"

• 
  Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

  Commentary:
  Here we go again, trading sunshine for pumpkin spice and existential dread 🍂⏰😅

• 
  150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good old days when "Ctrl+Z" meant hopping on a boat and growing a new mustache! 🛳️🕵️‍♂️✈️

More funny change quotes

• 
  Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Parenting rule #1: The enthusiasm over your kid's newfound love for broccoli will be short-lived… Just like their love for broccoli 🥦👶 #ParentingStruggles"

• 
  Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

  Commentary:
  "Out with the old, in with the new! If you suddenly hear crickets, you might want to check if you made the cut. 🦗👀 #NewChapter #SorryNotSorry"

• 
  You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

  Commentary:
  🍝 "Who needs a time machine when you have a pasta maker? Change your carbs, change your destiny! 🕰️✨ #PastaOverPast"

• 
  When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the mysterious case of the disappearing snacks! 🤷‍♂️🕵️‍♂️ Remembering what you went to the fridge for becomes just as elusive as Bigfoot sighting once you hit the big 5-0! 🦍🤣 Just remember, it's not forgetfulness, it's advanced culinary exploration! 🍔🍕 #FridgeAmnesia

• 
  The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the beauty of embracing your uniqueness and oddities! 🦄✨ It's time to ditch the norm and let your quirky flag fly high. After all, who wants to be even when you can be delightfully odd? Embrace the oddness in you and watch the magic unfold in the second half of your life! 🌟 #EmbraceYourOddity

• 
  I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew a cocktail shaker could be replaced by divorce papers? 🍸💔 Sometimes the best tonic for life's troubles is a little separation on the rocks! Cheers to newfound freedom! 🥂 #DivorceDecisions"

• 
  If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

  Commentary:
  "Cheeseburgers: the ultimate mood swing ninjas 🍔🤪 One bite and you'll be experiencing a whole new level of happiness – it's like a delicious flavor rollercoaster for your taste buds! 🎢 #CheeseburgerMagic"

• 
  Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, folks! 🤓 New glasses incoming, so prepare for a serious downgrade in your attractiveness levels! 😂 Time to recalibrate those standards! 👓😉"

• 
  Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the elusive Windows software update – the holy grail of computing hopes and dreams! 🤖💻 Will this be the one that finally brings peace and harmony to our digital lives, or will it simply introduce a whole new slew of bugs and glitches for us to marvel at? 💥💢 Either way, buckle up and prepare for some unexpected adventures in the world of tech! 🚀🔧 #TechTales

• 
  When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the ever-elusive surprise in the avocado – nature's original mystery box! 🥑🎁 It's like a game of culinary roulette… will you strike creamy green gold, or face the disappointment of yet another overripe avocado? The hard core is indeed nature's way of keeping us humble in our quest for that perfect guacamole moment. Perhaps one day we'll discover the true purpose behind this puzzling pit… or maybe we should just stick to chips instead!

Witty change quotes

• 
  Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

  Commentary:
  "Switching from summer to winter clothes: Easy peasy lemon squeezy! Changing from winter to summer clothes: More like panic mode activated! 😅🌞❄️ #wardrobeproblems"

• 
  I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that the secret to a good night's sleep was hiding in divorce papers all along? 😴💔 Sweet dreams, ex-couples! Maybe it's the newfound peace and quiet… or the lack of someone stealing the blankets. 🛌🤣 #SleepingLikeABaby"

• 
  One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joys of aging 🌧️👵 Embracing life's little reminders that you're not as young and invincible as you used to be! Time to invest in some knee braces and a weather app 🌧️💪 #RainyDayRealizations"

• 
  Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

  Commentary:
  Ah, how the tables have turned! 🔄🙈 It seems the generation gap has shrunk to a mere Wi-Fi signal 📶, with parents now mastering the art of memes and emojis while their tech-savvy offspring raise an eyebrow at their online antics. Who knew our biggest concern would be explaining to our parents that not everything on the internet is true… 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤣

• 
  Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like you're looking for a health shortcut without all the hard work, eh? 🤔 Sorry to break it to you, but the old "take a magic pill and call me in the morning" routine isn't quite cutting it anymore! 🚫💊 How about we start with some baby steps? Maybe swap out that soda for some water, and perhaps take a walk around the block instead of Netflix-binging all weekend long? 🥤🚶

• 
  Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

  Commentary:
  Never underestimate the power of a midlife crisis mixed with a dash of determination and a sprinkle of methamphetamine! 💼👨‍🏫➡️💰💊 Dream big, folks. If Walter White can do it, so can you! 🌟 #BreakingBoundaries

• 
  Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

  Commentary:
  Saving daylight like it's on clearance! 💡🕶️

• 
  It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

  Commentary:
  "Facial recognition technology is keeping up with us during those 'I woke up like this' moments 😂🤖 #SelfieStruggles"

• 
  We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

  Commentary:
  Oh, how the seasons have changed! 🌸🌞🍂❄️ Now it's just drama, drama, drama, drama all year round. Who needs a calendar when you have such gripping episodes unfolding before your eyes? 🎭🌟 #DramaEveryDay

• 
  I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the elusive 'go with the flow' type who really just wants to control the river currents! 🌊🔄 Planning is key, spontaneity is the enemy! ⏰😅 #TypeAFlow"