50+ Funny Childhood Quotes That Prove Growing Up Was Hilariously Weird

New funny childhood quotes

• Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

• I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

• My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

• I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

• I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

• Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

• One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

• Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

• All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

• Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Top funny childhood quotes

• The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

• You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

• As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

• Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

• Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

• If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

• The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

• Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

• I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

• The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Popular funny childhood quotes

• Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

• Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

• Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

• We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

• Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

• All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

• Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

• Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

• Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

• Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

More funny childhood quotes

• Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

• I am cassette tape years old.

• Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

• My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

• Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

• A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

• Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

• I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

• Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

• I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Witty childhood quotes

• When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

• I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

• I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

• I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

• I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

• I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

• Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

• Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

• My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

• Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Funny childhood quotes remind us that while we were small, our ideas were big — and usually made no sense 😂. Whether it was strange fashion choices 👕, bizarre games 🏃‍♂️, or wild misconceptions about how the world worked 🌎, childhood delivered endless comedy 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who loves laughing at the adorable nonsense we all believed as kids 🙃. So embrace the nostalgia, laugh at the innocence, and enjoy the funny trip down memory lane 🤪!