50+ Funny Days Quotes That Prove Every Day Has Its Own Brand Of Ridiculous

New funny days quotes

• Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.
• I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.
• It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.
• Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.
• The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.
• Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.
• It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.
• Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.
• If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.
• 364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Top funny days quotes

• The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.
• Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.
• Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.
• Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.
• A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.
• A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.
• Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.
• According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.
• Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.
• Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Popular funny days quotes

• Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?
• Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.
• Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.
• I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.
• People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.
• Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.
• Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”
• You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?
• Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.
• Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

More funny days quotes

• People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.
• Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.
• Please twerk; I have just days left.
• I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.
• I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.
• Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.
• The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”
• Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.
• The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.
• Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Witty days quotes

• Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.
• Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.
• Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.
• Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.
• I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.
• I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.
• You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?
• These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.
• How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?
• It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.