Commentary:
Applying for jobs today: Dear Employer, I've been very good this year and all I want is a new job under my career tree! 🎅📄🎁
149 Funny days quotes
The fact that nobody names their kids Achilles, Menelaus, Agamemnon, or Odysseus these days, but here are tons of Hectors around, says a lot.
Commentary:
Guess all those brave parents took an arrow to the naming knee! 🏹😂
Going outside costs $100 these days.
Commentary:
Why go outside when you can explore the wilderness of your living room for free? 🏞️💸😄
Maturing is realizing your sick days are for when you’re sick of work.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, call them in sick 🍋🤒🏖️
I miss the days when you could quit your job and have a new one three days later.
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Sounds like back then jobs were about as common as socks with missing pairs! 🧦🤦♂️✨
Amazon will tell you your package is coming in 7 days, then deliver it the next day. These are the only kind of lies I need in my life.
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When getting ghosted leads to surprise gifts in the mail 😂📦
It took two days to elect the Pope. It shouldn’t take five interviews over a month to hire someone.
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If the Vatican can do it in 48 hours, why does my job hunt feel like a season of Survivor? 🤔⏳🗳️
If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.
Commentary:
Looks like my future job title is "Sleep-Deprived Snack Provider" 🍕😴👶
So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
Commentary:
They're judging, but I've got my X-ray vision on, so who's the real hero here? 🦸♂️👀🔍
I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate staycation plan: just me, my couch, and no missing snacks. 🍕📺✌️