Funny drink quotes capture the hilarious situations that come with every type of beverage β whether itβs your morning coffee β, an innocent soda π₯€, or a not-so-innocent cocktail πΈ π€ͺ. From spilling it all over yourself π to βjust one drinkβ turning into several π, drinks have a funny way of turning everyday moments into comedy gold. Get ready to laugh at all the little disasters and joyful sips that come with drinking anything π!
New funny drink quotes
- Letβs drink some whiskey and say too much.
- The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.
- Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.
- There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.
- My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.
- Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.
- Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon itβs time for some excessive day drinkingβ¦
- βAI is coming for your job.β Yeah, Iβd like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.
- Iβm not really a βglass half fullβ kind of person. Iβm more of a βWhereβd I put my glass?β kind of person.
- I donβt drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.
Top funny drink quotes
- Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor wonβt know which liver to attack.
- English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you canβt food a food?
- Red Bull doesnβt give me wings, it gives me gas.
- If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.
- Just drafted the drunk text Iβm going to send after one drink this weekend.
- Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.
- The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as itβs nice out.
- When people donβt drink coffee, itβs like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?
- I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.
- In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.
Popular funny drink quotes
- I only drink when I people.
- Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.
- Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.
- Donβt drink to forget me, youβll end up seeing me double.
- My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
- Iβve reached that age where I donβt have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.
- My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.
- Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.
- My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still canβt mix a proper drink.
- Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.
More funny drink quotes
- Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.
- Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.
- Told my girl Iβm tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.
- Livinβ la vida vodka!
- I love how these vegans still drink water. Thatβs a fishβs house!
- I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
- Need to clean the fridge, so Iβm going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.
- Coconut water taste like itβs been in someone elseβs mouth.
- I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.
- I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.
Witty drink quotes
- βStill gangstaβ I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.
- I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.
- Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.
- You tell people youβre not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.
- Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.
- Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?
- My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, βI drink it.β
- Know what goes good with beer? Another one.
- Iβm not tispy. Iβm merry.
- I donβt drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.
Funny drink quotes remind us that while drinking is often about relaxing πΉ, itβs also full of hilarious missteps π€£. Whether itβs awkward toast speeches π₯, questionable drink experiments πΉ, or accidentally gulping way too much π₯΄, drinks never fail to add a comedic twist. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that even a simple drink can turn into an unforgettable (and very funny) moment π. So raise your glass, embrace the spills, and enjoy the endless comedy of drinks π€ͺ!