New funny drink quotes

• The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

• No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

• Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

• Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

• I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

• I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

• People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

• Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

• As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

• We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Top funny drink quotes

• I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

• Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

• I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

• Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

• The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

• Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

• There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

• Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

• Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

• “AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Popular funny drink quotes

• I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

• I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

• Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

• English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

• Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

• If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

• Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

• Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

• The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

• When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

More funny drink quotes

• I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

• In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

• I only drink when I people.

• Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

• Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

• Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

• My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

• I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

• My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

• Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Witty drink quotes

• My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

• Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

• Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

• Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

• Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

• Livin’ la vida vodka!

• I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

• I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

• Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

• Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Funny drink quotes remind us that while drinking is often about relaxing 🍹, it’s also full of hilarious missteps 🤣. Whether it’s awkward toast speeches 🥂, questionable drink experiments 🍹, or accidentally gulping way too much 🥴, drinks never fail to add a comedic twist. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that even a simple drink can turn into an unforgettable (and very funny) moment 🙃. So raise your glass, embrace the spills, and enjoy the endless comedy of drinks 🤪!