Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag

10,000+ Funny Quotes

  • ⚡ Funny Quotes Slot →
Popular Topics 🚀
mental health routine satire exercise after comfort childhood relationships stop better memory thought old wish eat nature change honesty movie myself everything office own sorry travel Christmas laziness self-care pun trying self anxiety fashion girl talk around actually here experience name ID men snack thinking misunderstanding next coffee friendship marriage used
Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6645 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,813 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

158 Funny drink quotes

Funny drink quotes celebrate those moments when our beverage choices lead to laughter and good times! 🍹😂 Whether it’s the hilarious struggle of making the perfect coffee, pretending that wine is a food group, or the chaos of spilling your drink at the wrong time, these quotes remind us that sometimes the best conversations happen over a drink. Cheers to the comedy in every sip! 🥤🍷🍸

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Posts navigation

Older posts

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨