50+ Funny Eat Quotes That Prove Every Meal Is An Opportunity To Overdo It

New funny eat quotes

• 
  I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

  Commentary:
  Fruits and fashion—the ultimate combo for sweet success! 🍉👗😄

• 
  Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

  Commentary:
  I feel this in my soul…and my untoned abs! 😂🔥🍔

• 
  I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone has been sneaking into the "diet" section of the freezer! 🍦😆 #CaughtInTheAct

• 
  As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

  Commentary:
  This is exactly why I keep my feelings stacked in a neat emotional can. 😂🧂🥔

• 
  My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like a solid calorie reduction strategy! Now where can I get these self-dropping chips? 😂🍟🧹

• 
  Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the new gourmet experience: dining à la floor with a 7.3-second rule! 🍽️😂🧹

• 
  Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

  Commentary:
  Channeling my inner frequent flyer by sipping ginger ale, munching on a Biscoff, and contorting into creative yoga poses on the couch. Sky miles not included! ✈️😂🍪

• 
  Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like a delicious plan! 🎂 Why not turn every day into a cake-hunting holiday? Let's celebrate some stranger's birthday calories! 🎉😂

• 
  I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

  Commentary:
  Eating gourmet air and five-star water, living the dream one snack at a time! 🍽️✈️😂

• 
  I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

  Commentary:
  Whoever came up with that saying definitely didn't know the sheer willpower required to ignore cake 🍰😆

Top funny eat quotes

• 
  The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

  Commentary:
  Why commit to a meal when I can't even commit to a Netflix series? 🍽️😂📺

• 
  Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

  Commentary:
  "Adulting: Brought to you by the 'What Should I Eat?' committee and the 'Bills, Bills, Bills' club! 🍕💸"

• 
  We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

  Commentary:
  Trading in flying cars for King of Pop Munchies! 🍔🤔👨‍🎤

• 
  When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

  Commentary:
  I love a well-stocked fridge full of optimism and expired dreams! 🍋🥗😂

• 
  If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

  Commentary:
  When you teach a man to fish, you gain a weekend of blissful solitude and a fridge full of mystery seafood! 🎣🏠🤔

• 
  Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

  Commentary:
  Beware: after today's stingray lesson, the living room is officially a no-swim zone! 🏊‍♂️➡️🚫🤣

• 
  The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the famous correlation between rain and donuts - a classic combo like PB&J! 🌧️🍩 Who needs an umbrella when you've got a delicious stack of 6 donuts to keep you company on this wet and wacky adventure? But hey, who's counting when you're enjoying the sweet side of life, right? 😄 Embrace the rain, savor the donuts, and let the good times pour! ☔️🍩"

• 
  I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a reason to eat cake? 🎂 Life is too short to wait for birthdays! Go ahead, treat yourself and celebrate like it's somebody's birthday EVERY day! 🎉🍰 #CakeForEveryOccasion"

• 
  Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the unfair world of metabolism... Some folks are out there digesting books while others merely glance at a cookbook and can feel the calories settling in. 📚🍔📖 Guess we'll just have to rely on our charm and wit to compensate for those extra pounds! 💁‍♂️😂"

• 
  I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good old days when eating a slice of cake felt like a workout for your metabolism 🍰💪 Now, it seems like even the mere *thought* of food makes the scale jump up! 🍔🚫 #ForkResistance"

Popular funny eat quotes

• 
  Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

  Commentary:
  "🐶🚽 When life gets ruff, remember: channel your inner dog! If that stressful situation isn't food or a toy, just pee on it and strut away like a boss. #LifeAdvice #DoggoneGenius"

• 
  Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

  Commentary:
  "Never trust someone who can devour snacks like it's their job but remains as svelte as a celery stick. 🍟🥗 Either they've struck a deal with the metabolism gods 🌟 or they're secretly an undercover food magician. 🎩✨ Don't be fooled by their bottomless pit powers - they're onto something fishy! 🕵️‍♂️🍭"

• 
  I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this spiritual journey is getting a little too cozy around the waistline 😋👖 Don't worry, expanding your horizons is good for the soul... and the seams of your jeans! 🍔🧘‍♀️ #EatPrayLoveButAlsoSizeUp"

• 
  How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal egg conundrum! 🍳🤔 Just remember, eggs don't come with a best before date imprinted on them like a secret code. It's all about the float test: if they sink, they're wink-wink 😉, but if they float, it's a firm nope! 🥚⛵️ Don't let those eggs go rogue and turn into a science project, unless you're looking for a new pet bacteria!

• 
  If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

  Commentary:
  Well, technically, you would probably just attract a lot of metal objects... and maybe some confused looks! 💁‍♂️🧲 Just remember, being magnetic in personality is way more appealing than being magnetic in taste! 😉

• 
  Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

  Commentary:
  🤣 Oh, the good old "eat all your food to be big and strong" lie! But hey, no one said anything about being strong AND slim, right? Looks like someone took that advice a bit too literally... Just big, indeed! 💪🍔🤷‍♂️

• 
  When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, so you're the Pac-Man of parties, huh? 🍔🌮🍕🍟 Better watch out for those ghosts in human form trying to catch you! 👻😄 Keep munching and dodging, party on, Pac-Man! 🎉🕹️"

• 
  If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

  Commentary:
  🤔 "If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why did He make them out of meat? It's like He's tempting us with a delicious dilemma! 🥩🐄 Maybe He just has a great sense of irony... or a funny bone hidden somewhere in His divine anatomy! 😄 Just some food for thought, and apparently, a reason to eat meat too!"

• 
  Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the eternal struggle of snack-deprivation vs snack-cravings! 🍿🍫 It's like a vicious cycle of snacking regrets and snackless despair! 😂 The snack struggle is real, my friend! Stay strong in the face of snack temptation! 💪🏼 #SnackAttack"

• 
  Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

  Commentary:
  When you realize salt isn't just a seasoning, it's a life choice 🍟🧂😋

More funny eat quotes

• 
  Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

  Commentary:
  Solo adventures: when you can spend money and talk to yourself without judgment! 🍽️🛍️🧘‍♀️

• 
  I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

  Commentary:
  Oh, the eternal mystery of when that "strong" part finally arrives! 🤔💪 Maybe it's waiting for the perfect moment to make a grand entrance, like a superhero swooping in to save the day! 🦸‍♂️ Keep eating your greens and who knows, you might just wake up one day with muscles of steel! 💪😄

• 
  I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

  Commentary:
  Well, I guess hunger always wins the race against swimming! 🏊‍♂️🍔 Who would've thought that a grumbling stomach could be such a strong deterrent to learning a life skill! Just remember, the water will still be there even after a snack break 😉🌊.

• 
  That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

  Commentary:
  🎉🍴 Ah, the holy grail of fridge encounters! The universe aligns, the stars twinkle in approval, and there it is - your desired treat, just waiting for you like a culinary guardian angel. It's like winning the food lottery without even buying a ticket! Time to savor that victory bite with a side of satisfaction. Enjoy the moment, my hungry friend! 🌟🥪

• 
  Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the struggle of a modern-day cave person in a digital world! 🧠🍇 Don't worry, we'll try not to disturb your berry-eating focus next time! 😄📱"

• 
  I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, folks! 🦁♌️ Leo in the house about to munch on your astrological signs like it's a cosmic buffet! 😂🍽️ Who knew zodiac signs could be so tasty? Better hide your horoscope!"

• 
  Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

  Commentary:
  😂🍿 "I'm just here for the free dinner theater performance in the kitchen!" 🍝🎭

• 
  The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine the look on their face when they thought, 'Hmm, this steak could use a little extra oomph... Oh, hello there, Mr. Bone Marrow!' 🐄🤔💡 #RandomFoodDiscovery #BoneAppetit"

• 
  I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to eat healthier but those delicious donuts just keep rolling into my life 🍩🤷‍♂️ Who can resist the temptation of a sprinkled sweet treat? Not me!"

• 
  My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the elusive Sandwich-asana - a classic pose known for its perfect balance of carbs, proteins, and deliciousness! 🥪🧘‍♂️ Who needs downward dog when you can have downward deliciousness? 🤣 #SandwichPoseGoals"

Witty eat quotes

• 
  Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic parental food paradox - a culinary rollercoaster ride! 🎢🍽️ Is it a trap? A test? Who knows! Just remember, parental love comes in mysterious (and sometimes contradictory) packages. Enjoy the food journey, my friends! 😄🥘 #ParentalFoodWisdom

• 
  Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

  Commentary:
  "Raising toddlers: where every day is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and your last nerve is on the menu! 🤪🎢🍳 #ParentingStruggles"

• 
  My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your doctor is speaking in code - with a side of humor! 🌮🍟 Who can resist the siren call of Taco Bell over the golden arches? You're on your way to a healthier diet, one crunchy taco at a time! 🌮🤣 #TacoTuesdayGoals

• 
  I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

  Commentary:
  Who knew emotional eating could break the bank! 🍔💸🤑 Therapy might just be the more budget-friendly option after all. 🛋️💸😂

• 
  Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

  Commentary:
  "Has anyone checked the statistics on 'Food Decision Paralysis' fatalities? 🤔💀 It's a risky business, folks! Remember, a well-fed group is a happy group...or at least a group that's too busy eating to argue! 🍔🍕🌮 #TheStruggleIsReal"

• 
  The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, Super Mario always making the extraordinary sound so ordinary! 🍄💥 Who wouldn't want to jump around, eat mushrooms, and channel their inner plumber for a little critter crushing? It's just another day in the Mushroom Kingdom! 🌟🎮 #MarioLogic"

• 
  I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'cookie chaser' diet technique - because nothing says 'healthy lifestyle' like using dessert to swallow your diet pill 🍪💊 Hopefully the cookies don't cancel out the pill! 😅"

• 
  My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least 'The Walking Dead' taught us a practical survival tip: when the zombies come knocking, don't worry about the expiration date on those canned beans 🧟‍♂️🥫 Just pray they're still edible and won't turn you into a member of the undead pantry patrol! 😂 #ApocalypseDining"

• 
  God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

  Commentary:
  "God, presenting the tiger: 'Introducing the Frosted Flakes fanatic of the feline world! 🐯🥣 Bon Appétit, humans!' Here's to hoping they don't mistake Tony the Tiger for their breakfast mascot! 🤣"

• 
  I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a watch when you can tell time by your stomach growling? 🍔⏰ #FoodieLife #HungryAlways"