New funny friendship quotes

• “You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

• If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

• Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

• Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

• I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

• Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

• It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

• You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

• I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

• So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Top funny friendship quotes

• Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

• Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

• Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

• I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

• Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

• Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

• There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

• Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

• I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

• Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Popular funny friendship quotes

• It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

• Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

• If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

• The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

• It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

• No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

• Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

• Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

• Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

• Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

More funny friendship quotes

• Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

• Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

• A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

• Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

• I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

• Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

• You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

• If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

• I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

• I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Witty friendship quotes

• When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

• Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

• If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

• Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

• I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

• People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

• You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

• I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

• My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

• Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Funny friendship quotes remind us that while friends are there for the serious stuff 💕, they’re even better at creating endless laugh-out-loud moments 😂. Whether it’s roasting each other nonstop 🔥, pulling harmless pranks 🎯, or turning small things into epic stories 🤣, friendships thrive on humor. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows that life’s funniest moments usually involve their best friends 🙃. So cherish the inside jokes, embrace the craziness, and enjoy the never-ending comedy show that is friendship 🤪!