50+ Funny Idea Quotes That Prove Brilliant Plans Usually Start With Bad Ones

New funny idea quotes

• 
  Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like you're on the cutting edge of creating new muscle groups! 💪🤔🌀

• 
  Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

  Commentary:
  Holy cheese, I'm ready to Brie-lieve! 🧀🙏🤣

• 
  The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

  Commentary:
  When your dog is the ultimate hype buddy and thinks every day is a surprise birthday party! 🎉🐶🎈

• 
  They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

  Commentary:
  I'm all in for a T-rex taco or a saber-tooth sausage! 🦖🌮😂

• 
  Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

  Commentary:
  Sending this text is like mixing both astrology and strategy into a single message—call it "ex-ceptional planning" 🤔🎂💌

• 
  Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

  Commentary:
  If you're trying to perfume-ade the situation and gem-tly make your way to my good side, you're on the right track! 💎💨😄

• 
  I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

  Commentary:
  Trying to be original on Twitter feels like trying to find a parking spot in a crowded lot—the space you thought was free is always taken 😂🚗💡

• 
  My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

  Commentary:
  Ah, a true master of efficiency! 👀🧹 Who needs a broom when you have the power of the stare? 😄 Keep sweeping those rooms with style! ✨🏡 #SweepingTakingItToTheNextLevel

• 
  My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the chaotic symphony of the modern mind! 🤯🎶 Just like a web browser with tabs galore, we navigate through the endless labyrinth of thoughts, with some frozen in confusion and a mysterious soundtrack playing in the background. 🕸️💭🎵 Embrace the pandemonium, for it is the soundtrack of creativity in full swing! 😅🎭 #MultitaskingMaster

• 
  Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

  Commentary:
  🤔💡 "Asking the real questions here! Who needs a regular old back scratcher when you have a lightsaber, right? 💫✨ Just be sure to keep it on low setting unless you want to accidentally turn your back into a Jedi training ground. May the force of relaxation be with you! 🚀🌟"

Top funny idea quotes

• 
  I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

  Commentary:
  "Now that's what I call eternal connection! 👻💻 Who says the afterlife can't have great download speeds, right? #WiFiForever"

• 
  Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

  Commentary:
  "Embarking on questionable decisions might just lead to unforgettable memories! 🤪 Just remember: a bad idea can sometimes make the best stories to tell later on! 🌟😜"

• 
  Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

  Commentary:
  "Taking a dog named Shark to the beach is like inviting trouble to a party 😆🦈🏖️ Maybe stick to a safer name like 'Puppy Paddle' for a stress-free day out!"

• 
  Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

  Commentary:
  Finally, a groundbreaking innovation: "Insta-oldschool" where time moves forward and nothing else does! 😂🕰️ #NostalgiaFilter

• 
  My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your dog is the ultimate bipartisan pee-ologist! 🐶🤣 Who knew our furry friends could play a part in the political process too? Maybe he's advocating for a "pawsome" unity party! 🐾 #Dogtatorship

• 
  I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, 'apple a day keeps the doctor away' only applies if you work at the fruit stand instead of the pharmaceutical company 🍏💊 #FruitfulThinking"

• 
  Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

  Commentary:
  🧺 "Wouldn't it be fantastic if life had a 'dryer' setting to iron out all our wrinkles – both literal and metaphorical? Just pop yourself in, set it to 'wrinkle-free,' and emerge refreshed and smooth like a freshly laundered shirt. Ah, the dream! 😂✨"

• 
  I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

  Commentary:
  When Santa needs an emergency stop at the North Pole gym 😂🎅💊💪

• 
  I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to explain it would be like trying to color a masterpiece with invisible crayons 🖍️. Some ideas are just too 'crayon'-crazy to bother with! 😆"

• 
  I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to spark conversations with people is like sending messages into the void and hoping for a reply 🌌 Maybe a little bit of weirdness is just what it takes to get that reply! 🤪💬"

Popular funny idea quotes

• 
  Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

  Commentary:
  "Horoscope: This week, the universe seems to think you're Dracula in disguise – don't be surprised if you find yourself involuntarily donating blood 🦇💉 #UnexpectedlyGenerous #VampireVibes"

• 
  Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

  Commentary:
  🍅🍟 When life gives you ketchup packets, dream big – because who knows, your condiment collection might just be the secret sauce to your culinary empire! 🌟🍴 #KetchupKing #SaucyStartup

• 
  This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone is really counting down to a stress-free holiday season! 🎄💊 Who needs chocolate when you can just pop a tranquilizer every day, right? 😂 Here's to a peaceful and snoozeful Christmas countdown! 🛏️✨"

• 
  Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

  Commentary:
  Naps are like a game of Russian roulette 🎲💤 You never know if you'll emerge feeling like a majestic unicorn 🦄 or a confused time traveler from the past 🕰️😂 Choose wisely or risk waking up questioning your existence!

• 
  Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew binge-watching Breaking Bad could have such… explosive consequences? 💥🛏️ Just hope your landlord doesn't find out! 😉 #BreakingBed"

• 
  Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

  Commentary:
  "Choosing the perfect emoji is the new struggle of our generation 🤷‍♂️👗 Who knew that something so small could cause so much indecision! Now I get a taste of the fashion dilemma women face daily 😂 #EmojiFashionCrisis"

• 
  Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

  Commentary:
  🤔🌟 How about we skip the whole election hoopla and simply vow to behave ourselves? 🇺🇸 Who needs a president when we've got our impeccable behavior to lead the way? 😜👏 Let's all strive for that "Student of the Month" vibe in this national experiment! #GoodCitizenshipGoals

• 
  The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

  Commentary:
  Isn't it just fabulous being a procrastinator? 🕰️💡 Those terrible ideas never stand a chance, they're too busy chilling on the back burner! 🤣 #ProcrastinationWin

• 
  I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

  Commentary:
  Ah, a classic case of selective amnesia blended with a touch of marital honesty! 🤣 It seems like your wife might need a memory boost or maybe just some upgraded rose-tinted glasses! 👓💭 Just remind her of your charm and wit, and she'll remember why she fell for you in the first place! 😉🌟

• 
  I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's trying to turn that watermelon into a real party animal! 🍉🍸 Who needs a fancy cocktail glass when you've got a giant fruit ready to bring the fun? Just remember to eat the fruit salad, not the booze salad! 😄🍹"

More funny idea quotes

• 
  Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

  Commentary:
  Navigating this place feels like a pop quiz on people's names! 🎃😂👻

• 
  Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

  Commentary:
  "Living in our house is like playing the ultimate game of hide and seek – even the police would be stumped! 🕵️‍♂️🤪 #MessyLife"

• 
  I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

  Commentary:
  👮‍♂️👟 "I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers…because catching criminals is a marathon, not a sprint! 🚨👟💨" #FashionPolice #SolePatrol

• 
  Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

  Commentary:
  🚁🪰 "When life gives you a garden and a whimsical dream, why not give helicopter trapping a gleam? Wishing you all the luck in the world, may your 'H' stand for 'Hover' and not 'Hilarious!' 🪂🪶"

• 
  A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

  Commentary:
  🍪😂 "Introducing 'Crumble' – for those who swipe right for cookies faster than they swipe left on bad jokes! Find your perfect match based on your favorite cookie flavor and see if your love can stand the ultimate test of sharing your last cookie 🤷‍♂️🍪 #CrumbleLove #CookieCrush" 😆🍪

• 
  Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a pet when you can have a coffee cup companion on your daily commute? ☕🚗 Just watch out for those double takes and friendly waves from fellow drivers! It's the ultimate way to turn heads and make friends on the road." 🤣

• 
  My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs regular milk baths when you can spice things up with Cinnamon Toast Crunch? 🥛🛁🌟 Step aside, spa treatments, this breakfast concoction is the real MVP! Doctor's orders never sounded so delicious! 😄🥣"

• 
  If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

  Commentary:
  Ah, trying to put clothes on a toddler is the real-life exorcism we weren't prepared for! It's a battle of wills filled with flailing arms, wails of protest, and a force field of pure stubbornness! 👹👚✨ #ToddlerExorcism #ParentingLife

• 
  Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

  Commentary:
  Well, nothing says 'I love you' quite like rolling a strike with your heart, right? 🎳💍 Who needs a shiny diamond when you can have a custom bowling ball that perfectly matches your style and helps in knocking down those pins! Let the good times roll! 🎳😄 #RelationshipGoals

• 
  I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

  Commentary:
  "Mastering the art of the poker face: when you bluff your way through confusion like a pro 🃏😳 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

Witty idea quotes

• 
  Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

  Commentary:
  "Considering launching a true crime podcast! 🕵️‍♀️🔍 Although, my search history might raise a few eyebrows at the FBI… 🕵️‍♂️🔪 #PodcastPrep #SuspiciousSearches"

• 
  Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

  Commentary:
  How amusing would it be to have a light-hearted twist during a potentially tense situation? 🚓🍦 Imagine the sound of the ice cream truck jingle luring you in, only to be greeted by the flashing lights of a police car.🎵😅 It might just turn a stressful moment into a quirky memory!

• 
  Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a revolutionary innovation that might just change the world: A printer that actually PRINTS when you need it to 🖨️💸 Who would've thought such a simple concept could be worth billions?!"

• 
  What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

  Commentary:
  "Raising kids is like being a tooth fairy, except instead of collecting teeth under pillows, you end up with a mysterious stash of tiny enamel treasures in a drawer somewhere. 🧚‍♂️🦷 #ParentingMysteries"

• 
  First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

  Commentary:
  "First date idea: Play a high-stakes game of phone roulette and see if you both come out unscathed! 📱😅 Just make sure to delete those embarrassing selfies beforehand! 💃🕺 #ModernRomance"

• 
  Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'no idea' move – the perfect blend of indifference and laziness! 🤷‍♂️ Who needs thoughtful responses when you can just cruise on the 'no idea' express? 😂 #LazyBrainsUnite"

• 
  You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

  Commentary:
  Well, seriously, common sense Gandalf, where were you when they were crafting that "one ring to rule them all"? 🧙‍♂️ Let's not make jewelry decisions with world domination potential, folks! 💍😂

• 
  What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old dilemma of trying to decode the mysterious code of ‘what she really wants’ 🤔! Maybe this year, you can dazzle her with a gift so unexpected, it’ll have her questioning whether you’ve been living in an alternate dimension all this time 🚀💫! Who needs the conventional when you’ve got a gift that screams, ‘I meant well, I really did’ 😉💝?"

• 
  It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the mornings, when one must prepare for battle against the elusive snooze button and the treacherous morning grump 😂☕️⚔️ Rise and shine, a warrior never sleeps in! 💪🌞"

• 
  I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

  Commentary:
  Looks like they really know how to stir things up on a first date 😂🍴 Who knew gravy could be the key to romance? #GravyGoals