50+ Funny Laziness Quotes That Prove Doing Nothing Is A Full-Time Hobby

New funny laziness quotes

• I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

• Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

• Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

• Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

• I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

• Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

• How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

• We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

• Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

• Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Top funny laziness quotes

• Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

• I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

• I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

• The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

• I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

• Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

• I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

• “You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

• I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

• I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Popular funny laziness quotes

• Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

• Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

• The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

• For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

• Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

• I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

• Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

• Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

• The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

• Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

More funny laziness quotes

• I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

• I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

• I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

• Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

• My brain is on airplane mode today.

• Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

• Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

• My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

• Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

• Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Witty laziness quotes

• I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

• “Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

• The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

• The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

• I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

• I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

• Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

• Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

• My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

• A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Funny laziness quotes remind us that while hard work pays off, laziness is just so much more fun 🤣. Whether it’s pretending your to-do list doesn’t exist 📝, inventing “shortcuts” that take even longer 🔄, or proudly calling it “energy conservation” 🙃, laziness keeps life entertaining. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s turned procrastination into an art form 🤪. So embrace the comfy couch, laugh at the excuses, and enjoy the comedy of being delightfully lazy 😂!