New funny laziness quotes

• I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

• Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

• Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

• “I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

• “I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

• I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

• My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

• Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

• Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

• How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Top funny laziness quotes

• I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

• Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

• I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

• Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

• Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

• Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

• Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

• A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

• Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

• I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Popular funny laziness quotes

• There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

• I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

• Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

• Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

• Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

• I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

• Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

• How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

• We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

• Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

More funny laziness quotes

• Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

• Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

• I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

• The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

• I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

• The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

• I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

• Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

• I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

• “You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Witty laziness quotes

• I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

• I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

• Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

• Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

• The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

• For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

• I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

• Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

• Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

• The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Funny laziness quotes remind us that while hard work pays off, laziness is just so much more fun 🤣. Whether it’s pretending your to-do list doesn’t exist 📝, inventing “shortcuts” that take even longer 🔄, or proudly calling it “energy conservation” 🙃, laziness keeps life entertaining. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s turned procrastination into an art form 🤪. So embrace the comfy couch, laugh at the excuses, and enjoy the comedy of being delightfully lazy 😂!