50+ Funny Nothing Quotes That Prove Doing Nothing Is Surprisingly Entertaining

New funny nothing quotes

• “Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

• I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

• There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

• Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

• Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

• “Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

• Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

• I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

• Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

• There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Top funny nothing quotes

• Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

• I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

• Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

• Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

• Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

• There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

• Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

• Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

• There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

• “Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Popular funny nothing quotes

• Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

• “It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

• Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

• Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

• Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

• Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

• Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

• Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

• Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

• Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

More funny nothing quotes

• The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

• Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

• Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

• The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

• I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

• I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

• It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

• The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

• Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Witty nothing quotes

• There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

• It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

• It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

• Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

• I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

• You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

• You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

• Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

• Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

• Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Funny nothing quotes remind us that sometimes the best stories start with, “We were doing nothing, and then…” 🤣. Whether it’s sitting around for hours, avoiding chores 🧹, or spacing out entirely 🤯, doing nothing tends to invite unexpected hilarity 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever proudly done absolutely nothing — and loved every minute of it 🙃. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the comedy of embracing glorious nothingness 🤪!