New funny nothing quotes

• Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

• I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

• My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

• Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

• “I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

• My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

• If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

• There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

• My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

• I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Top funny nothing quotes

• Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

• Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

• The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

• Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

• Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

• There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

• There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

• It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

• Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

• Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Popular funny nothing quotes

• Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

• If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

• Nothing tops a plain pizza.

• I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

• Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

• I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

• I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

• Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

• My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

• Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

More funny nothing quotes

• Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

• There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

• “Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

• I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

• There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

• Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

• Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

• “Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

• Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

• I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Witty nothing quotes

• Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

• There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

• Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

• I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

• Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

• Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

• Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

• There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

• Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

• Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Funny nothing quotes remind us that sometimes the best stories start with, “We were doing nothing, and then…” 🤣. Whether it’s sitting around for hours, avoiding chores 🧹, or spacing out entirely 🤯, doing nothing tends to invite unexpected hilarity 😂. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever proudly done absolutely nothing — and loved every minute of it 🙃. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the comedy of embracing glorious nothingness 🤪!