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Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

New funny quotes: 10692 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 26, 2026

 

 

 

 

254 Funny nothing quotes

Funny nothing quotes turn the most uneventful moments into pure comedy gold! šŸ˜‚šŸ«„ Whether it’s ā€œI’m doing nothingā€ but somehow still exhausted, or claiming ā€œnothing’s wrongā€ with a face that says otherwise, these quotes prove that *nothing* is rarely ever just nothing — it’s usually hilarious. Because sometimes, the funniest stuff happens when absolutely nothing is going on! šŸ˜†šŸ›‹ļøāŒ

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Nothing says ā€œnot interestedā€ quite like a Restraining Order.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

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