New funny self-care quotes

• I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

• The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

• Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

• I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

• Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

• My lips could use some attention today.

• Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

• Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

• Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

• Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Top funny self-care quotes

• If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

• Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

• Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

• wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

• Not right now. I’m manifesting.

• I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

• I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

• Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

• Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

• Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Popular funny self-care quotes

• Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

• If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

• Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

• Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

• I need a day off from myself.

• Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

• Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

• I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

• Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

• Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

More funny self-care quotes

• Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

• Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

• Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

• Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

• The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

• Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

• Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

• People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

• Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

• If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Witty self-care quotes

• Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

• The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

• Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

• The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

• Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

• My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

• When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

• I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

• Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

• Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Funny self-care quotes remind us that while self-care is important 🌿, we’re really good at turning it into a comedy act 😂. Whether it’s buying unnecessary candles 🕯️, taking 4-hour naps 😴, or calling online shopping “therapy” 🛒, self-care can be as ridiculous as it is relaxing 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever said, “I deserve this,” while knowing full well they went overboard 🙃. So embrace the indulgence, laugh at the excess, and enjoy the hilarious side of self-care 🤪!