New funny stop quotes

• I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

• To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

• Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

• I will never stop being a quitter!

• I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

• I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

• The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

• “What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

• I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

• I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Top funny stop quotes

• It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

• Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

• Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

• The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

• Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

• I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

• You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

• Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

• Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

• When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Popular funny stop quotes

• Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

• Stop dating if you have no car.

• Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

• Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

• Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

• Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

• Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

• Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

• Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

• Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

More funny stop quotes

• “Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

• Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

• Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

• You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

• “Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

• I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

• I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

• When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

• “You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

• Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Witty stop quotes

• Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

• I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

• All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

• How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

• When did making sense stop making sense?

• I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

• Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

• Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

• Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

• Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Funny stop quotes remind us that while knowing when to stop is wise, blowing right past that point is often way more fun 😂. Whether it’s oversharing in conversations 🗣️, shopping sprees gone wild 🛒, or laughing so hard you can’t stop 🤣, life’s best stories often begin with not knowing when to quit. These quotes are perfect for anyone who lives by the motto: “Just one more… whatever” 🙃. So keep going, keep laughing, and enjoy the comedy that comes when you simply can’t stop 🤪!