50+ Funny Year Quotes That Prove Every Year Is A New Kind Of Crazy

New funny year quotes

• 
  “You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

  Commentary:
  Trying to juggle cassette tapes and MP3 playlists like a true time-traveling DJ! 🎧😂🤷‍♂️

• 
  Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

  Commentary:
  ✨ Let me know when you find the "push" button, because I think mine is stuck on snooze! 😴💪

• 
  We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

  Commentary:
  Guess it's back to playing air accordion in silence all season long 🎶🙉😂

• 
  Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

  Commentary:
  Time to fast-forward to Christmas and call it quits! 🎄🎅 Bye, 2023, don't let the calendar hit you on the way out! 🎉👋

• 
  “I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

  Commentary:
  Sounds like your future memoir title should be "2020: The Year That Really Needed a Cigarette Break" 🚬😂📅

• 
  This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like the perfect recipe for a "What just happened?" casserole! 🤪🎢🎉

• 
  (To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

  Commentary:
  You're basically my time-traveling mini-me! 👶🕰️😂

• 
  Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

  Commentary:
  My social life is on a budget break until next year 😂💸✋

• 
  I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

  Commentary:
  I've been thinking so much this year, I'm starting to wonder if my brain has a workout playlist. 🧠💪😂

• 
  I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

  Commentary:
  Guess it's time to put little footballs on the shirt then! 😂🏈👕

Top funny year quotes

• 
  August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

  Commentary:
  Guess I better start prepping for beach season as well! 🎃🎄🍾🏖️ Time travel, anyone?

• 
  This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  Time flies when you're having fun—or when you just blink! 🎅⏰🙃

• 
  Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

  Commentary:
  That's some next-level commitment to the theme! Amelia Earhart would be proud! 🛩️🎃🕵️‍♀️

• 
  The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

  Commentary:
  When every day feels like a Monday, even the calendar is begging for a nap 😴📅#MondayMadness

• 
  You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

  Commentary:
  2020 called; it wants its portal key back, and no thanks, I’m good without the brimstone decor! 🔥😅👹

• 
  Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

  Commentary:
  Guess we all secretly aspire to be a billionaire’s unofficial defense attorney! 💼💸😂

• 
  Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

  Commentary:
  Feeling ancient over here—behold, someone who remembers when the internet sounded like a fax machine! 📟🕰️🎶

• 
  To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

  Commentary:
  Looks like I'm gonna need a New Year's resolution… for everyone else! 😂🎉

• 
  All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

  Commentary:
  🎄😂 If Santa delivers that, I'm asking for a mansion next year! 🏠💸

• 
  My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

  Commentary:
  Time to archive those emails before they start asking for a driver's license! 📧🚗🤦‍♀️

Popular funny year quotes

• 
  We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

  Commentary:
  Tasting the fine vintage of avoidance 2023; pairs well with procrastination pie! 🍷🗓️🎉

• 
  Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like the perfect costume—nobody will see you arriving fashionably late! 👻🎩🔍

• 
  Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the infamous mud season – nature's way of reminding us that we are no match for its power! 😂🌧️ Who knew a simple combination of water, dirt, and poor flooring choices could wreak such havoc on hearts, minds, and interior decor? Here's to hoping our carpets survive this muddy apocalypse! 🙏🏽🤣 #MudSeasonStruggles

• 
  Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

  Commentary:
  Well, move over Spotify! 🎵🔥 Looks like the real chart-topper has arrived and it's not available for streaming! 😂💁‍♂️ Who needs a playlist when you're the ultimate hit single? 🌟 #TrendingOnMyOwnTerms

• 
  I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

  Commentary:
  "Who doesn't dream of that six-month vacation… or maybe even two of them! 😂🏝️ Just imagine the tan lines, the relaxing beach days, and the blissful escape from responsibility. Sign me up for that vacation plan! 🌞 #VacationGoals"

• 
  Happy new fear!

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic mix-up between 'year' and 'fear' 🤣. Let's embrace the uncertainty of 2022 with open arms… and maybe a flashlight just in case! Here's to a 'spooktacular' new year ahead! 🎉👻 #HappyNewFear"

• 
  That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the joy of online shopping surprises! 🎁😅 It's like Amazon is reminding you, "Hey, time flies when you're hunting for the perfect gift!" ⏰🎉 Looks like you've just won the "Efficient Shopper of the Year" award! 🥇🎁🤣

• 
  I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

  Commentary:
  "Why bother with new year resolutions when perfection is already your middle name? 💁‍♂️ Keep shining, you flawless creature! ✨ #LifeGoals"

• 
  To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the audacity! 🙊💁‍♂️ It takes talent to turn a "sorry" into a "you deserved it." Maybe we should all start taking notes on this one! 😂📝 #SavageSincerity

• 
  I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the pure joy of toddler fashion exploration! 👖😄 Who needs wardrobe malfunctions when you have an enthusiastic fashion critic at home? 😂 #ParentingAdventures"

More funny year quotes

• 
  I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

  Commentary:
  "Sometimes we all just want to be missed like we're the only source of entertainment and snacks in the whole wide world 🚽👶💔 #nephewlove"

• 
  Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

  Commentary:
  "Rent be out here acting like it's striving for that promotion to Executive Suite 🏢📈 Who knew paying rent could come with an annual performance evaluation? 😂 Maybe it's time for a feedback session with your landlord?"

• 
  The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your New Year's resolution of gaining life experiences took a wrong turn and instead you gained a few pounds! 🍔🍕 But remember, you're not just gaining weight, you're gaining gravitational pull too! 💪😄 #NewYearNewMeNotSoMuch

• 
  No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

  Commentary:
  Who needs ghosts or ghouls when you have existential dread and student loans creeping up on you? 👻🎓😱

• 
  If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

  Commentary:
  "When you show someone the year they can retire, it's like forcing them to gaze into the abyss of adulthood and mortality 😱💸💼 Retirement age: the scariest bedtime story ever told!"

• 
  They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

  Commentary:
  Imagine the chaos at the Oscars with a new category for Best Super Sex Scene! 🎥🍿😂 Who needs traditional movie plots when you can have a blockbuster filled with nothing but steamy scenes? Talk about a must-see for date night at the cinema! 🔥💏🎬

• 
  You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the iconic spin move! 🎰 Age truly shows its flair when entering a birth year becomes a game of luck and skill. 😂 Are you feeling like a contestant on the Wheel of Birth Years? Time to spin that dial and hope for a jackpot of wisdom and experience! 🧙‍♂️🦉

• 
  January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

  Commentary:
  Guess I'm starring in my own plot twist movie this year! 🍿🎬😄

• 
  Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a winter coat when you've got last year's padding still intact? 😂 Embracing laziness like a boss! 💪 #WinterPreparedness"

• 
  Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the sweater, the ultimate champion in the world of fashion with a name that definitely raises a few eyebrows! 🏆👕 Who knew that a cozy knit could have such a disgustingly delicious title? 😂 Let's give it up for the sweater, the unsung hero of clothing names! 👏 #SweaterLife

Witty year quotes

• 
  When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs New Year's resolutions when you can just opt for the cozy, bear-inspired lifestyle of hibernation? 🐻💤 Just don't forget to stock up on snacks before you tuck in for the winter nap! 🍯😋 #HibernateLikeABoss"

• 
  This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone is really counting down to a stress-free holiday season! 🎄💊 Who needs chocolate when you can just pop a tranquilizer every day, right? 😂 Here's to a peaceful and snoozeful Christmas countdown! 🛏️✨"

• 
  I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

  Commentary:
  Who needs Halloween when everyday life is already full of strange characters? 👻🎃 Embrace the chaos and enjoy the never-ending show! Just remember to keep some extra candy on hand for those unexpected tricksters that pop up throughout the year. 🍬😄

• 
  Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Five years strong in the art of procrastination and gym avoidance 🏋️‍♂️😂 Here's to another year of promising to start tomorrow! #fitnessgoals #gymlife"

• 
  That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

  Commentary:
  "Cleaning the apartment is like Groundhog Day but with dust bunnies and crumb trails instead of Bill Murray. 🧹🏠 #ForeverDirty"

• 
  As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

  Commentary:
  "Being a parent is like being part of a never-ending reality show where you're both the audience and the star 🌟. It's amazing how much a baby can achieve in their first year, and you get a front-row seat for all the action… even at 3 a.m. 😴🤱 #ParentingPerks"

• 
  I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

  Commentary:
  "No more playing postman for the neighbors this December! Can't risk being the middleman for Santa's not-so-nice deliveries again 🎅📦🚫 #NoMoreJunkMail"

• 
  Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

  Commentary:
  Naps are like a game of Russian roulette 🎲💤 You never know if you'll emerge feeling like a majestic unicorn 🦄 or a confused time traveler from the past 🕰️😂 Choose wisely or risk waking up questioning your existence!

• 
  If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

  Commentary:
  Wow, just turned my phone off and now I'm wondering why Britney Spears is still topping the charts and everyone wants an iPhone 1 😂📞🕺

• 
  Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

  Commentary:
  Looks like aging gracefully runs in the family, or should I say, the litter 😸🎂