New funny year quotes

• It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

• Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

• That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

• Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

• Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

• Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

• You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

• I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

• I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

• Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Top funny year quotes

• Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

• The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

• Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

• I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

• People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

• My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

• It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

• A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

• I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

• Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Popular funny year quotes

• I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

• Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

• We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

• I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

• The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

• The only thing I gained this year is weight.

• No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

• I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

• All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

• To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

More funny year quotes

• Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

• Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

• January is the Monday of the year.

• I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

• Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

• Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

• Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

• No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

• Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

• Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Witty year quotes

• January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

• When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

• And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

• My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

• Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

• My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

• Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

• It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

• My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

• If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Funny year quotes remind us that no matter how much we plan 🗓️, each year delivers a fresh set of hilarious surprises 🤣. Whether it’s personal fails, global weirdness, or just plain bizarre moments 🤷‍♂️, every year leaves us with stories we’ll laugh about for years to come. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s already saying, “Next year will be different!” while secretly knowing it won’t be 🙃. So embrace the chaos, laugh at the craziness, and enjoy the comedy each year delivers 🤪!