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Commentary:
"Drive like no one is watching…but remember, the traffic cameras always are! 🚗👀 Just kidding! But seriously, keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel – safety first! 😄🚦"

carefree, drive, freedom, fun, humor, road, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

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2 months ago

complaint, deadline, funny statement, humor, management, sarcasm, sorry, statement, time, time management, yesterday
Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

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2 months ago

aging, animals, birds, humor, observation, older, once, people-watching, start, think
Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

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2 months ago

bogus, culture, expression, humor, language, learn, new, slang, stay, why
80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

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2 months ago

bring, daily, daily struggle, decision, humor, i, jacket, just, life, should, struggle, thought, uncertainty, weather
The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

0

2 months ago

Adam, apple, Chinese, culture, different, eve, food, history, humor, irony, left, snake
I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

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2 months ago

20, actual, animation, entertainment, humor, i, Kung-Fu, last, movy, Panda, think, wildlife, year’s

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

15 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Living la vida taco!

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Making waves on Slack:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Just landed via WeChat:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Just shared via WeChat:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drive like no one is watching.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨