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8786 Funny humor quotes

New funny humor quotes 👇

  • Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

    Commentary:
    “When you’re deciding between a fine Merlot or a rare ‘McRib Red’ for that gourmet experience! 🍷🤔🍔”

  • At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

    Commentary:
    “When you’re trying to sound deep but just discovered how time works. 😅⏳ #DeepThoughts”

  • You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

    Commentary:
    “When my phone gets slobber marks, I’ll know who’s to blame! 😆📱💋”

  • Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

    Commentary:
    “Sounds like you’re just one culinary mystery away from a Michelin star! 😂🍽️🔍”

  • Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

    Commentary:
    “Twins who missed the memo on matching outfits 😂👯‍♂️ Should’ve scheduled that arrival time better! ⏰”

  • Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

    Commentary:
    “Don’t worry, angel, I’ll form a support group with the unicorns 🦄 and rainbows 🌈 to handle all this overwhelming perfection!”

  • I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

    Commentary:
    “Always reaching higher, both in humor and life! 😄⬆️ #ShortPeopleCanDreamToo”

  • I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

    Commentary:
    “Oops! My bad, didn’t mean to cause such a cosmic stir! 😂🌌🚀”

  • Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

    Commentary:
    “Taking ‘commitment issues’ to a whole new level! 😂📚🔞”

  • Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

    Commentary:
    “Make sure you’ve got your karma GPS on! 🚴‍♂️💫 #PlotTwistGuard”

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