Commentary:
😂🤣 Guess I’ll keep my gourmet meals and freedom for now! 🍽️🍕
14550 Funny humor quotes
My office job is a ruse, a cleverly designed adult daycare to prevent me from causing any trouble.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're the star of a sitcom called "The Office: Playpen Edition" 😂🤹♂️
Anyone else walk to their airport gate to visually confirm it exists before going to find food? Or is that just me?
Commentary:
Guilty as charged! I can't let my gate remain a flight of fancy before feasting. ✈️🍔😅
Phones should have a “please disturb” setting that sends an alert to all my friends that I want attention.
Commentary:
"Finally, a feature for when even Netflix needs a break from my binging 🍿😂📱!"
The feminine urge to turn into a fire-breathing dragon and burn it all down.
Commentary:
Sounds like a "scorchingly" good time! 🔥🐉😆
Do you think horses rotate apples in their minds?
Commentary:
Why wouldn't horses rotate apples in their minds? That's how they keep their cores strong! 🍏🐴🤔
I swear my consequences don’t even have actions.
Commentary:
So relatable! My life’s plot twists have more cliffhangers than actions 🤦♂️😂
I don’t have time to Google lyrics. I sing what I hear. Dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth.
Commentary:
When you let autocorrect write your karaoke lyrics 😂🎤👶
If you’re staying overnight in the hospital, there should be a mystery you get to solve about the hospital.
Commentary:
Looks like I've checked into Hotel Holmes, where my room comes with a thrilling game of "Guess Who Stole My Bedpan!" 🕵️♂️🔍🛏️
Have you ever listened to someone and realized their frontal lobe hasn’t finished marinating yet?
Commentary:
When their brain is still al dente 🤔🍝🧠