Funny Quotes Pictures

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.
Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.
Liquor store clerk: "Do you need help?" Me: "Yes, but I decided to come here instead."
“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.
Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?
Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?
Unfortunately, I wasn't built for casual dating, I'm only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.
Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?
I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.
Everyone's an empath until I need to borrow some cash.
I'm at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I'd probably say thank you to the kind stranger.
How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?
I need a break from me.
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.
Every time the universe sends me a sign, I'm like, okay, but I think I'll wait for a signier sign.
You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.
You couldn't pay me to do this year again.
I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.
I could low-key really use a wish right now.
December you will be good to me (threateningly).