I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I'll be notified immediately.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Commentary:
🚨 Breaking News Alert! 🚨 Just in: someone ordered a life alert bracelet… but not to alert for emergencies, oh no! This person is so prepared that they're getting ready for the life they *might* have someday. 😂 Who knows, maybe that bracelet will go off with confetti and cheers when the day finally comes! 🎉 #LivingMyBestAlarmistLife

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Commentary:
"Remember folks, karma has a fantastic memory and she always collects her debts! 😏💸 Treat others kindly, unless you enjoy being on the receiving end of her payback plan! 🔮😜"

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Commentary:
🚨🤣 "I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately. Hopefully it doesn't go off accidentally when I'm just binge-watching Netflix on the couch!" 😂 #LifeGoals #LifeAlertFail

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of reading minds while driving 🚗💭 If only cars came with a built-in telepathy feature, the roads would be a much safer and more comical place! Can you imagine the chaos if our vehicles started translating our inner thoughts into blinky lights? 😂"

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic ninja fail! 🕵️‍♂️ Stealth level: beginner 😂 Looks like someone needs to work on their ninja skills. Maybe next time try tip-toeing instead of tap-dancing past your opponent! 💃🚫 #EpicFail

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Commentary:
🍌🍊🍎 "When life gives you lemons, the bank questions your entire existence for buying fruit. Watch out, next time they might suspect you're laundering grapes! 🍇💸"

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Commentary:
"Expiration date? Nah, more like a gentle reminder that your food is playing hard-to-get 😉🚫🥑 #SpoilerAlert #FreshnessGoneMissing"

If she says "you are my world" remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Commentary:
"Attention kings 🤴👑: When she claims you're her whole world 🌎, just a gentle reminder that there are plenty of other planets out there! 🪐 Stay vigilant and keep exploring the galaxy of love! 🚀💫"