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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Trending via Snapchat:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Trending via Messenger:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Trending via Reddit:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Just landed via Discord:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

32 Funny chicken quotes

Funny chicken quotes bring a cluckin’ good dose of humor to our feathered friends! 🐔😂 From light-hearted jokes about chickens crossing roads to playful quips about their daily antics, these quotes celebrate the quirky side of our poultry pals. Enjoy a hearty laugh and give a nod to the whimsical world of chickens with these amusing sayings! 😄🥚

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Simplicity is so complicated.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

26 shares on X this month:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Breaking via Reddit:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Just shared via Instagram:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Breaking via Reddit:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Spotted on Slack:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

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