13 Funny clever quotes

You're so cultured I'mma start calling you Yogurt.

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Hello! I'm Britain's greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

A clever man fills his wife's closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025