16 Funny clever quotes — Wordgag ツ

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

3 months ago3 months ago

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

3 months ago3 months ago

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

3 months ago3 months ago

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Mar 17, 2025

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Jan 27, 2025

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Jan 27, 2025

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Jan 27, 2025

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Jan 27, 2025

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Jan 26, 2025

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Jan 25, 2025

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Jan 24, 2025

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Jan 24, 2025

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Jan 24, 2025

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Jan 22, 2025

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Jan 21, 2025