16 Funny clever quotes

• Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

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  2 months ago

  circle, clever, dating, flirting, humor, humorous, humorous remark, i, joke, over, playful, remark, sarcasm, teasing, witty

• Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

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  2 months ago

  answer, before, clever, confusion, huh, humor, humorous, i, mindset, question, quick, quick response, repeat, response, sarcasm, say, sometimes, wit

• I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

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  2 months ago

  card, clever, comparison, contrast, gordon, got, heart, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous comparison, mouth, personality, personality trait, ramsay, sarcasm, savage, savage mouth, sharp, sharp tongue, soft, soft heart, tongue, trait, witty

• I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

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  2 months ago

  clever, day, dog, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, mile, people, pet, tell, walk

• You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

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  2 months ago

  calling, clever, cultured, humor, nickname, start, wordplay, yogurt

• If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

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  2 months ago

  clever, diet, eating, food, humor, joke, order, people, pizza, salad, tell, veggy

• I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

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  2 months ago

  call, clever, clever wordplay, Delaware, delusional, humor, i, identity, self-aware, wordplay

• Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

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  2 months ago

  again, Britain, case, catchphrase, clever, forename, hello, humor, i, identity, joke, missed, real, spy, surname, tell

• Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

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  2 months ago

  change, clever, clever expressions, daylight, daylight investing, daylight savings, enough, expressions, humor, investing, management, need, play, play on words, savings, time, time change, time management, words

• Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

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  2 months ago

  alphabet, clever, clever joke, cut, half, humor, joke, me, politics, vote, wordplay

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