13 Funny clever quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a fitness tracker when you have a cleverly named dog like '5 Miles'? It's the perfect excuse to skip the gym and just let your furry friend do all the work. Just remember to keep up the facade when someone asks about your workout routine!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, with all that knowledge and sophistication, I might as well start calling you Yogurt! 🧐🍦 Just remember, the more cultured you are, the less likely you'll curdle under pressure! 😉🥄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a boring salad when you can have a 'salad on crust' with extra cheese for that touch of irony? 🥗🍕 #PizzaIsMyKindOfSalad"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

  Commentary:
  Oh, that's meta on a whole new level! 🤯 Delaware would be delighted to know it's symbolizing self-aware delusion now. Welcome to the state of mind of Delawareception! 🤪 #DelawareDelusion

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

  Commentary:
  🕵️‍♂️ "Ah, the secret to being a top spy in Britain is by being super sneaky…or not! 🕵️‍♂️ Introducing the master of undercover subtlety with the most unforgettable catchphrase: 'Smith, John Smith, in case you needed a reminder!' 😂 Who needs a disguise when you've got a signature introduction like that? Classic spy humor at its finest!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

  Commentary:
  "Daylight savings is so last season! 💤⏰ Time to level up and invest in those precious rays! ☀️💰 Who knew sunbeams could be such a hot commodity? 😎💸 #DaylightInvesting"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

  Commentary:
  "Vote for me, I'll cut the alphabet in half – because who needs the hassle of Z when you can just stop at Y? 🤣✂️ #LessAlphabetMoreFun"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the harsh reality of adulting: realizing that not all grown-ups are as smart as they seemed when we were young 🧠💡. It's a tough pill to swallow, especially when you start to suspect that your childhood heroes might have just been winging it all along! 🤷‍♂️🙈 #AdultingIsHard"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

  Commentary:
  "Hydration goals: Achieved with Carbo-loading tactics! 💧🍞 Stay fueled and watered, folks! 😄 #hydration #carbsfordays"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this clever man is taking 'clothes horse' to a whole new level! 🕺👗👠 Sorry fellas, this closet is reserved for the MVP only! 🏆😄 #FashionableFortress"

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