Commentary:
"Wow, with all that knowledge and sophistication, I might as well start calling you Yogurt! 🧐🍦 Just remember, the more cultured you are, the less likely you'll curdle under pressure! 😉🥄"
13 Funny clever quotes
If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.
Commentary:
"Who needs a boring salad when you can have a 'salad on crust' with extra cheese for that touch of irony? 🥗🍕 #PizzaIsMyKindOfSalad"
I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.
Commentary:
Oh, that's meta on a whole new level! 🤯 Delaware would be delighted to know it's symbolizing self-aware delusion now. Welcome to the state of mind of Delawareception! 🤪 #DelawareDelusion
Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.
Commentary:
🕵️♂️ "Ah, the secret to being a top spy in Britain is by being super sneaky…or not! 🕵️♂️ Introducing the master of undercover subtlety with the most unforgettable catchphrase: 'Smith, John Smith, in case you needed a reminder!' 😂 Who needs a disguise when you've got a signature introduction like that? Classic spy humor at its finest!"
Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.
Commentary:
"Daylight savings is so last season! 💤⏰ Time to level up and invest in those precious rays! ☀️💰 Who knew sunbeams could be such a hot commodity? 😎💸 #DaylightInvesting"
Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.
Commentary:
"Vote for me, I'll cut the alphabet in half – because who needs the hassle of Z when you can just stop at Y? 🤣✂️ #LessAlphabetMoreFun"
It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.
Commentary:
"Ah, the harsh reality of adulting: realizing that not all grown-ups are as smart as they seemed when we were young 🧠💡. It's a tough pill to swallow, especially when you start to suspect that your childhood heroes might have just been winging it all along! 🤷♂️🙈 #AdultingIsHard"
Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.
Commentary:
"Hydration goals: Achieved with Carbo-loading tactics! 💧🍞 Stay fueled and watered, folks! 😄 #hydration #carbsfordays"
A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.
Commentary:
"Looks like this clever man is taking 'clothes horse' to a whole new level! 🕺👗👠 Sorry fellas, this closet is reserved for the MVP only! 🏆😄 #FashionableFortress"
Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.
Commentary:
"Sorry, but this escape room is strictly for those with exit strategies… and well, let's just say I never got the memo on natural exits! 🚪😅 #CSectionSurvivor"