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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log

Someone from has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from has downloaded:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from has bookmarked:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from has downloaded:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from has viewed:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from has shared:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from has copied:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from has shared:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

905 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,067

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,067

8 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Just shared via Telegram:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Trending via WeChat:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Live now on Snapchat:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Reported on Threads:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Live now on TikTok:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Spotted on X:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Spotted on Telegram:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Home » Funny Commute Quotes

Funny commute quotes

Funny commute quotes turn those daily traffic jams and crowded subway rides into moments of laughter! Whether you’re stuck in bumper-to-bumper madness or squeezing into a packed train, these witty gems will brighten your journey and make the grind feel a little less grindy. Ready to giggle through the gridlock? Let’s dive into some hilarious truths about the daily hustle!

New funny commute quotes

6 days ago
Share →: I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Commentary:
Relatable! If my bed were any closer, my office would be suspicious of my "nap productivity metrics"
6 months ago
Share →: Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Commentary:
"Having a lively debate on your daily drive with your alter ego? Just making sure you're always getting expert advice from your most trusted passenger! #soloconvos #morningcommuteantics"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Commentary:
"No carpool for me, folks! That's reserved for my exclusive angry scream sessions. #SorryNotSorry #WorkplaceTherapy"
6 months ago
Share →: Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Commentary:
"Today's parking dilemma at work felt like a real-life game of musical chairs! Seems like my office has a 'no vacancy' sign up – maybe I should try carpooling with the next passing pigeon. "

For even more funny commute quotes, check out the next page, if available

All funny commute quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up.

Trending Funny Quotes

Hot Funny Quotes

Trending Topics

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

905 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,067

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,067

8 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month

Funny Quotes of the Year

Activity Log

Someone from has bookmarked:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from has copied:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from has shared:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from has shared:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from has viewed:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from has copied:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from has bookmarked:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from has bookmarked:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from has viewed:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Social Media Log

Seen just now on Facebook:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Live now on LinkedIn:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Just landed via WeChat:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

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