22 Funny crush quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

  Commentary:
  🤣 "Oh sure, your crush is definitely going to leave their spouse for you, just like rainbows are made of cotton candy and unicorns pay taxes! 🌈🦄 That's how delusions work, my friend. Embrace the fantasy, but maybe keep a grip on reality too!" 😅

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic midnight ponderings of those adventurous souls who dare to question the very fabric of reality. 🤔💭 Just a casual Thursday night pondering the cosmic abyss, no big deal. 😅 #ExistentialCrisisChic"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

  Commentary:
  "Having a crush is like starring in your own rom-com, complete with Carrie Bradshaw vibes and just a touch of chaos! 💕👠 Embrace the highs, the lows, and the fabulous fashion choices that come with it!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the notorious crush – a perfect cocktail of feelings and mysteries! 🕵️‍♂️🤔 It's like detective work for the heart, where the case file is missing crucial details! 🕵️‍♀️🔍 Who needs Sherlock when you have a crush to solve mysteries for you? 😄💘 Just remember, the more you know, the less crushing it gets! 📚🔓 #CrushInvestigation

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like your heart's preferred dating setting is 'hardcore mode' 😆💔 Who needs casual when you can dive straight into the deep end of soul-crushing love at first sight? Just remember to bring a life jacket for when things get emotionally turbulent! 🌊💕"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs Cupid's arrow when you have podcasts as the ultimate love deterrent? 💔😅 Tune in to their episodes and kiss that crush goodbye faster than you can say 'episode binge-watching!' 🎧😏 #LoveLessons #PodcastPower"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about a dramatic entrance into the world! From nature's 'loading screen' to swiping and tapping your way through Candy Crush levels in no time 🤯🍬📱 Must be quite the upgrade for those tech-savvy little ones! #BornToSwipe"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this person has a magnetic pull for all the crazies 🌀🤪 Better swipe right on a therapist instead! #AttractingPsychos"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, Super Mario always making the extraordinary sound so ordinary! 🍄💥 Who wouldn't want to jump around, eat mushrooms, and channel their inner plumber for a little critter crushing? It's just another day in the Mushroom Kingdom! 🌟🎮 #MarioLogic"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

  Commentary:
  Well, finding someone who likes you back is like hitting the jackpot in love! 🎰 So if your crush always likes you back, either you have some magical charm or they really have excellent taste… or maybe you're just really funny! 😂 Either way, keep spreading those good vibes and witty jokes! Who knows, you might just charm your way into their heart with a punchline. 💘

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