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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Reported on Messenger:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Reported on TikTok:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

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Funny dream job quotes

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All funny dream job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Pinterest:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Trending via Instagram:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Making waves on Telegram:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Reported on WeChat:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Shared recently on X:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Spotted on X:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

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