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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Just landed via WeChat:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Seen just now on Threads:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Trending via Slack:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Funny groom quotes

Funny groom quotes bring a hilarious twist to wedding vibes, making the big day even more unforgettable! 🤵😂 Whether you’re the groom or just love a good laugh, these witty gems capture the lighter side of saying “I do.” 💍🎉 Ready to chuckle, smile, and maybe even snort? Get set for some groom-approved humor that’s perfect for speeches, toasts, or just brightening up your wedding day! 😄🥂

New funny groom quotes 👇

All funny groom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

53 shares on X this month:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

92 shares on X this month:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

44 shares on Threads this month:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

44 shares on Slack this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a little freak is my love language.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Just landed via X:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Just shared via Facebook:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Just shared via X:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Just landed via Reddit:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Spotted on X:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Trending via Reddit:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

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